oh hi, bali ho.

this entry was started a few days ago... feels like a lifetime ago... maybe it was a week.
i have no clue.
______________________

oh man I was stressed.

woke up at 5:30 and stumbled around the driftwood castle in the dark
(no gennie that early)
it was raining and I did NOT want to get up.

this never happens here. the moment I blink my eyes open I say a little prayer that Ruli or Linda are up and the good coffee is ready in the kitchen ... but either way when I'm up I'm up and I'm stoked to be up.
this morning-- I was down and stoked to stay down.

I slept in the bar cuz I wanted to make sure I was up and also because there is a full on bed in the bar.
it's badass.
ainsley and I basically stayed in bed all day yesterday.
there's surround sound, ocean view and a bar! and a bed!
it's incred.
I used the popup mosquito net which sucks and does not work. I always get eaten.
but luckily there was so much rain and thunder and lightning last night that the mozzies didn't come out too much.
I had weird dreams. vivid.
ainz and John e and birdie and Joey were in them. nothing too awesome happened it was just an extension of the day.
maybe that's why I feel tired and unrested. it's like I didn't sleep. everything was just a status quo day in my sleep.
birdie staggered past me, put on a big yellow raincoat and walked off through the jungle towards the worker house to pay Jonas (and make sure he was up probably)...
i got my shit down to the beach to wait for the boat to pull up and wrapped everything in black trash bags to keep dry in the boats.
I'm taking mine and Ainsley's laptops to get fixed in bali.
everything was secure.
I put on Matty & Avasa Love's "let the sun shine through"
and realized I had a few moments to drift off into a daydream meditation.
I found myself in tawney's living room right where I met Matty and Avasa for the first time.
they had come over to serenade tawney after our accident.
I remember sitting on the couch listening, watching their love agine through like sunlight, my legs were draped over shawnski. his arms resting on my knees. a zenzanshawntishanti sandwich!
oh man I miss those.
the sounds of Venice beach coming through my ithing were interrupted by birdie arriving back on the beach, throwing the yellow raincoat over me and handing me a bottle of water.

"he's coming. sorry zani... people here have never known a life where 6am actually means 6am"

jonas still didn't come

willy- the Indonesian guy had told me to be in tua pajet at 7.
shitttt I thought-- what if I miss the flight?
my mind started flickering through scenarios-- what ifs... i started stressing thinking about what I would do... how I would try not to be angry but i would really need to breathe...

My buddy was in trouble in Padang and needed me and yet I was essentially stuck in the hands of people who didn't understand the concept of time

time.

what is time again? hahah. what a joke. how did i forget about the joke that is "life" and lose myself in a moment of seriousness? there is no rush for anything ever.
no worries. everything would unfold in it's perfectly imperfect divine timing and at the end of the day who cared?
I had fallen into very LA energy waiting out on that beach and I didn't like it.
I buried my toes in the sand, took a deep breath and sunk into the now... which is all that eventually exists...
almost immediately i heard the sound of the sampan's motor coming around the bend of the island.

I hugged my buddy birdie who ive spent literally every single day for almost two months with and climbed aboard the boat.
(I can only imagine his sigh of relief at a break from my woo-woo spiritual mumbo jumbo manifestation nonstop talk)

the buzz of the motor sliced through the still indian ocean vibe as the sun was rising over the glassy water.
the two indo guys that came from padang yesterday to fix our fridge squatted at the boe of the boat... i think they must have slept down in the worker housing last night.

nobody on the boat spoke a word of english... the fridge guys up front and me an Jonas chit chatting in broken indo about my going to bali.. what color shorts he wanted me to get him and how when I got back I would surf better then him... ha.
mungkin...

we got to tua pajet at 7 on the nose. the LA chick in me shrug wiggled my shoulders back an inch and nodded one sharp nod of approval before laughing and throwing my arms in the air. who cares?
i got off and stood on the ambu ambu dock for about 5 minutes... everyone just stood around smoking cloves and looking in No rush

I figured i missed it and just sat on a curb..

I kept asking people as they walked by "dimana willy?" to which people pointed up the street vaguely... I didn't drink any coffee before i left the island and felt my energy dragging hard.. one of the indo boat guys standing around made a comment that I was angry... I said no!!
saya capek sekali! perlu kopi!

again I got the vague point up the street indicating that there was coffee and plenty of time to get some.

so I walked up the tua pajet road that i am getting familiar with and bought three iced Nescafe mocha coffees and a bag of chips. i gave the other two away to Jonas and another guy that I had been chatting to but didn't catch his name.

we finally got on the boat around 8:30 and the not jonas guy i gave the coffee to ran up to me smiling and waving for me to wait before i stepped off the dock and on to the sampan... and he put a black baggie in my hand. it felt hot and liquidy. I figured it would be some kind of squid or something that would moat likely make me vomit so I just thanked him and got on the boat.
hesitantly opening it up I found a another plastic baggie full if hot coffee (the really good dirty car oil kind) with a straw rubber banded to the top. homie got me a coffee to go!

I love the Mentawais so hard.

this second sampan ride to the "airport" took about an hour...
again i was the only English speaker on board but totally made friends and talked about kids and the Mentawais and other stuff.
I finally accepted a clove and smoked a few drags after being offered one literally 10,000 times. (kind of like when I learned to just accept a cup of tea in England when I'm offered a million times) but i totally made friends with the guys which was cool.

we arrived at wherever the hell the plane leaves from and I climbed off the boat onto a slippery log, waded to land and walked up to a tiny house and a "runway" that's a yard with roosters walking across it.

intense

Mentawai airport

btw- it's 9:43 and I'm still the only woman and only English speaker ive seen since I left birdie this morning as the sun was coming up over paradise island...
I love Indonesia.
I really do.
I feel like everyone is my friend.

we are all draped across these shitty benches that are falling apart-- facing a typical southeast Asian jungle/rainforest in the background of this unbelievable "runway"...
there are flies everywhere
everyone is topless and barefoot except the police?
I mean- I don't know what they are- there are three- one is siting next to me and they have badges and black outfits.
I think the guy next to me is asleep.
who knows?
the little room behind me has one table with a pen and some scribbles on a paper
that's where I "checked in"
suuuure

when I booked this flight I texted with willy
cost is 335.000rp total
okay 335.000rp. right willy?
right.

willy is behind this tiny desk saying 350.000

it's basically two dollars more. still... it's just so typical.

okay. time for clear intentions.

I am going to get to padang a driver will be waiting for me with my name written on a card- we'll go pick up Joey- go get the tickets, get our passports and then and then get my friend and take him to bali and out of harms way.
it's gonna work out perfectly.
I will be in bali by this evening

then I will get my friend on a flight to America and he will be safe and sound within 72 hrs.

--------

things went smoothly-ish

the plane was this little world war two fighter jet style thing that you had to wear awesome yellow ear protection...
like what drummers wear.
it was so loud it was crazy



i landed in padang and got off the tiny plane and walked out expecting my driver to be holding a sign with my name on it.
instead I received a call in that moment from the driver saying they were 30 min away.
shit.

I was so super crunched for time.
I had the typical 10,000 men surrounding me and asking if I needed a taxi.
every time I've come through padang I put my head down and just say no no no and move through the swarm of men who I can't communicate to.
this time I put on my LA bitch that can now somewhat communicate in bahasa Indonesia and addressed the crowd of twenty men around me

"okay listen up y'all" and off I went in my broken language tirade about how my brother was sick and somewhere in padang city.
I needed a good driver who could drive fast but safely to take me into padang. find my friend - go get his passport- go meet Lisa and get my passport and meet lyre and pick up our plane tickets and then return to the airport to make the flight that left in 2 hours.
(padang city is about 45 min from the airport)
bam.
I had a guy... two guys actually. the driver's friend insisted on coming and sitting shotgun.
(for entertainment value I'm sure)
we were off... sampoerna clove smoke billowing out the windows of the indo version of an suv taxi- bumping minang music with the bule blonde aries leo rising chick in the back seat on super-drive mode texting up a storm and coordinating the swoop.

don't ask me how... but within one hour I had my buddy, his passport, his laptop, my passport, our tickets and we were in his business partner's car en route back to the airport.
I paid my drivers who were totally disappointed not to be able to see the end of the movie I had just pulled them into- but their work was done.
The guys talked business about their boat as we sped back to the airport.
lookin out the windshield of the tiny white hatchback (again, filled with clove smoke and weird hyper indo music) I saw, in slow motion it seemed, two motorbike collide and go down.. our car slamming the breaks- tires squealing and then the impact.
we hit both motorbikes and somehow did not kill anyone.
our instinct was to jump out and hold c-spine like we were taught as EMTs
but our indo friend driving grabbed us and said no.
don't

somehow nobody died but it threw me for several loops.

I was in two serious car accidents in the week before i left LA - I have been on an island nowhere near a car for over 2 months and within one hour off the island an BAM I
am in another accident.

we got to padang airport and made our flight as if by magic.
(please refer to my blog about EWO)... http://aloveninja.blogspot.com/2011/03/jam-karet-rubber-time.html

by time we were in Jakarta my friend was having a hard time so I just went in to oober beacon mode... stayed present, clear and strong... had him hold my rose quartz amulets, listen to zen music, and breathe and gave him guided meditation and massage.
he made it.

we even got upgraded to business class for free from Jakarta to bali...

finally in bali we got to a hotel... the losari hotel- which is waaaay over priced for what it is but we could go there and be safe and sound... it had air conditioning and hot water and room service.

it was an intense night.

I stayed up all night chanting and praying and sending healings to my friend- my brother who was hurting.

I woke up and immediately bought him a flight back to LA.
he would be leaving -- on a flight by that night...

in the meantime, I had to take him to the hospital which was intense

i saw so many people coming in gushing blood from motorbike accidents and reef related surfing incidents.
I made friends with the main doctor named bayu (duh.)
got to look at X-rays of my friend's neck and see the inner workings of the bali BCIM hospital...

I finally got him back to the airport, broke trough security to get him to gate and make sure he had boarding pass in hand.

hugging him tight and sending blessings, I got back into my twentieth taxi of the day and headed back to the losari hotel...
I called my mother and burst into tears, telling her the whole epic story.

I climbed into bed, put on my friend nick "wallaki" music and close my eyes.

I felt a deep sleep coming on for the first time in days upon days..

knock. knock. knock.

my friend was back. he couldn't leave the country due to kitas issues- no exit visa blah blah blah...

i was a little deflated to be honest. feeling like i failed at my mission.

I woke up all through the night in panics.

the energy in kuta is intense... lots of "yes!? yes !? ma'am... special price for YOU! come look!" and people throwing things in your face.
the buzz of the city was deafening and getting on my last nerve.
(something that had never happened before)
I've lived in the HUB of city noise,,, on bay street in Santa Monica and on Notting Hill Gate road in London... I mean, I'm a city girl...
but somehow my chemistry has changed living at togat Nusa. I don't like big cities and noise.
I like peace and serenity and nature noise.

I was far from that in kuta.

i finally climbed out of bed at 9am to have breakfast in the lobby.
my frend yuko came over and hung out for about an hour... so good to see a familiar face.
she commented on my face and how dark the circles were under my eyes.
she had just seen me last month on my island paradise life living in bliss and peace... now I was stressed beyond anything.
(maybe this was the universe's way of restoring balance?)

my friend and i decided to check out of losari and move hotels.
we somehow landed on the biggest shithole in bali. it's 80,000 rupiah a night- so about $9 dollars... the rooms have fans, no sheets, no hot water and basically just shy of a jail cell.
but whatever.
it would do. and 9 bucks is just within my budget.
i filmed a very sarcastic vlog about it that night.


that night, I went and met my friend from padang, Christina and Yuko and a few others for sunset drinks at double 6 beach and then went to have thai food with yuko in kuta which was soooo good.
amazing vegetarian thai food and rose wine from bali actually.
it was incredible (though didn't hold a candle to the green papaya salad ainz made on the island last week using papayas from the garden which was the best of my life.)
we girl talked over dinner and then she drove me home on her motorbike.

I came "home" to the heroin-chic minus the chic hotel" on poppies 2 in kuta...
and fell asleep with a raging headache to the sweet sounds of clubs thumping and drunk/hallucinating people staggering outside my ground level door.

maybe this was again--- the universe making up for the peaceful sleep in the island jungle... about as far away from humans and city bullshit as one could get out here.

I woke at 6:30am and went to cafe moka on seminyak to meet yuko and go to yoga with her.

I had NO idea what I was getting in to.

yuko threw me on the back of her motorbike and turned down all these secret alleyways until we came upon a big steel gate with 7's painted all over it.
yuko got off and reached through a hole to activate the opening of the gate.
and in we drove to a place i will never forget.



this studio is a home... an iyengar haven- nestled in this lush, gorgeous tropical forest garden of a bali mansion... a huge emu (their pet) was outside wiith tons of other animals and foliage...
we were on a wooden stage equipped with every kind of iyengar prop and tool... statues, rope walls, sculptures, incense, it was the quintessential "bali yoga haven"...
and an icredibly intelligent iyengar class that would make Lisa Walford very very proud.... taught by an american woman who reminded me of my pseudo mom from palisades, Ellen McCormick.

after class I wandered around the grounds staring at a Ganesha for a long time thinking about the Ganesha sculpture I bought my parents.
the one i got my parents sits in their garden in moraga and tia just sent me a picture a few days ago of all the northern california wild flowers that popped up all around it.

I miss California but I just don't think I want to live there. I am in love with the Mentawais right now and I can't think of not being out there -- I'm sure I will fall in love a million more times in the next few months but I just don't see myself back in California for a long time.

shaking myself back to "reality" which was this post-yoga blessed blissed- out state in a surreal balanese garden with a guy standing where we just practiced pouring this gorgeous metal carved teapot- filing up small glass cups with delicious chai tea and palm sugar. all the yogis sat on the dark wooden floor an sipped their tea and chatted...
I heard so many accents.. it was such a beautiful tribe, I felt overwhelmed with gratitude that I could be a part of it.

after class we went by yuko's house which is up the road and somehow seemingly in the country-- nestled in rice patties near cows yet IN seminyak...

seriously beautiful, peaceful little zen zone I could see myself living in very easily.
after a quick tour, we jumped back on her bike and drove two blocks to an amazing vegetarian restaurant where we had another delicious meal...
I had tofu salad and vegan tom yum soup with iced mint, rosehips and elderflower tea...

I felt so renewed and refreshed and invigorated to help my friend and make the most of this beautiful place.

I remembered the thing about big cities.. you have to dig for what you want...

it's like Ross dress for less- all the awesome stuff is there you just gotta be patient and willing to dig through a bunch of crap to find the cool stuff you want and vibe with.

yuko helped me find the things today that fit me perfectly-- yoga, veggie food and peace and I remembered that I love bali so much.

after I left yuko I went to meet jen... she is my friend with the yoga goddess surf retreat in balian.
she is so awesome an again we had such a nice time siting and chatting over chai.

she invited me and some friends to her house/retreat in balian. so I am going on Monday! I can't wait to surf and practice yoga with her and see her little Mecca (from what it sounds like)

and ubud will come... after balian probably... I kind of like the idea of ubud being at the end of this aventure since it is what I am buying myself for my birthday and this lead up is so stressful and crazy, it will be great to just relax and ease back into zen life before I go back to the island.

tomorrow I am going to meet yuko and go take an anusara yoga class at this retreat spa place that apparently has a salt water pool and jacuzzi and restaurant so we can spend the afternoon there.

...to be continued. (obviously)