11:11am - sunday, march 6
@ the ferry port in Singapore
sitting by a window
thinking about the last 24 hrs
it's basically mind blowing to me that I've only been in Singapore for a day.
it's very reminiscent to me and erin's adventure in japan.
so so full
I started writing to colin in the taxi from the airport- after being here for minutes:
it's so lush.
i am in a Singapore taxi headed to ABC backpackers hostel by myself holding back tears...
this welling of emotion...
I have arrived.
I am no longer getting there. I am no longer cultivating and manifesting.
Colin.... I am here.
and it is so lush.
I remember when I lived in London, we'd call things that were delicious "lush"... or sometimes to refer to a hot guy.
it was like saying something was divine.
Singapore... this part of the world... balancing like a gymnast on the beam of the equator, where life lives of life and everything is pulsating with moist, green, Gaya mother energy... THIS is lush in every sense or use of the word.
I feel the deepest part of my soul beginning to sweat and wriggle as though the greenhouse of me if finally at gestation o'clock and I am going to sprout mangrove branches from every pore in my skin...
branches that will billow out of me and spread across the warm earth below me.
...and I had only just arrived.
I got to the hostel and was greeted by the two adorable Malaysian girls who worked the counter.
the followed me to my room and sat on my bunk bed asking me questions about California with wide eyes and smiles.
at first I thought they were just being nice and then gradually realized that I was definitely the only westerner staying there out of the 50 or so guests.
and throughout the day realized that I was probably one out of a handful of blondes in the entire country!!! (or so it seemed)
after checking in and sending off a few "I'm safe in Singapore" emails I hit the town in my famous boots, jeans and mint green top Jessica gave me.
I started off at Arab street which was right near by.
stunningly beautiful landscape and colorful Singapore streets and shops full of silk textiles surrounding the Sultan Mosque which intrigued me so much... I couldn't stop taking pictures.
then I took a bus to Clarke quay which felt like universal studios somehow but I stumbled into a health food restaurant called "real food" - full of metaphysical books and raw foods and juices.
I had a synchronistic moment that stood out when I picked up a book called 'signs from above' and in that moment a hand came over my shoulder to present me with the Ginger beer I had ordered which said 'phoenix' on the bottle. (my playa name and pseudonym)
all of a sudden a song started writing itself in my head as I was eating my vegan rice dish- and glanced at a book called "slow down"
I remembered my therapist Claudia saying "ya know... you can never go too slow"
I left Clarke quay and wandered around Singapore singing this new song as I wandered up to little India.
I loved little India. I bought some bindis and masala peanuts and was about to head home when Some men sitting outside a cafe on the corner (who had kind of cat called me and commented on my boots 10 min before) walked over to me and took me by the hand insisting I come have a chai.
I of course obliged since I love chai and had literally just written a lyric about having a couple chais.
I think they were all a little surprised that I said yes, but I am all about making friends sspecially with potentially skeezy. guys (when safe and appropriate) to show them that I am a human and ask them about themselves and tell them about myself- I feel it stops the objectification of a woman when they see the humanistic qualities in the woman they had seen as an object moments before.
these guys actually ended up all being great! super friendly and very safe. I plan to call them when I come through Singapore again! they invited me and whoever I am with to come to some palace and dink cobra liquor where there is a cobra coiled in the bottle with it's head up looking at you. it makes you magical and psychic apparently.
they said this alleged palace has a full stage for performances and love to have westerner come and sing for them.
me and josh hogan are already there in my fantasy when we hit the road towards Thailand.
a stop in Singapore is imminent and the guys would seriously tAke care of us.
they begged and begged me to drink with them and insisted on buying me dinner but it was getting dark and I felt it was time to part ways so I hugged them all and peaced out
I finally made to back to the hostel- took a shower and sat on the bunk to work on the slow down song.
by 10:30pm I was worked and called it a night. all 7 of the other bunks in my room were empty so I kind of suspected they would be waking me up later. I put on copeland (and didn't get the grand canyon gorge in my heart like I did at LAX thank god) and fell fast asleep!
of course the lights went on and the loudest drunkie dorm-mates came in babbling in an asian language I didn't recognize around 3:30am
when they finally all passed out I was wide awake.
blanket pulled over my head.
my eyes were super wide and dry as a bone.
i felt scared to blink.
i felt like if I did, this lump in my throat was surge up and waterfalls would come pouring uncontrollably out of my eyes.
and these drunk guys had JUST passed out. I didnt want to wake them to the sound of my whimpering and sobbing.
so I shoved it down.
took some deep ujaiyi breaths, reached over and grabbed my i-thing and scrolled through the 35 or so emails that were unread
i saw one email in particular that for some reason made me so happy, just seeing the message without even reading what was writteb- I basically 180'd...
I wasn't pushing anything down or holding tears back- the lump in my throat disappeared, my heart got cozy...
I blinked a few times... got out of bed... and decided to start my day.
it was 4:30am.
I spent about an hour replying to emails and then took the guitar case and headed out into Singapore to find a picturesque place to sit and play guitar as the sun came up.
about one block away I pulled out the i-thing to vlog... one block later I was stopped dead in my tracks by the most eerily beautiful sounds coming from the Sultan Mosque that was bathed in the street lamp light and very first glows of dawn.
it made me cry it was so beautiful.
(the vlog is actually pretty funny... me stopping dead in my vloggyness and getting all donnnnnnng- rung like a bell in my spirit.)
one block after thAt I saw a super punk rock looking guy standing waiting for the light to change to walk in the other direction across victoria.
he had these silver spike piercings coming through his bottom lip, teardrop tattoos on his face, magenta hair sticking out of his Ed hardy looking hat and very Kurt cobain-loving outfit.
oh! and blue contacts in his eyes.
this was clearly my new bff.
his name was hafiq.
I stopped him and asked where I should go to watch the sunrise... without even thinking twice he escorted me across the city the entire way to the esplanade- hafiq was nothing but the sweetest gentleman.
i assumed at firt glance that he was still up from last night, but he was rather just up early today and fancied a walk...
we arrived at the esplanade which i truly could not have constructed a more ideal sunrise spot in my imagination.
it felt like i had stumbled into the magic center of the city.
ridiculously incredible architecture with an exact inverse mirror reflection projected on the perfectly still singapore river these lit up buildings sat on.
between the moonlight, the building and bridge lights and the street lamp lights, the foliage, flowers, and tropical jungle bird calls... it was beyond perfect.
and dawn was just starting to really break.
hafiq sat an listened to me play and sing for about an hour as the sun rose over the Singapore river.
he took about a million epic videos and pictures of me the entire time. then I bought him a coffee and he walked me all the way back my hostel where we exchanged info and hugged it out.
he wants to go to Jamie oliver's cooking school in England and I told him he could do it. I think he's gonna kill it! good people do well in life. its a fact.
we each wore an earbud and listened to pan America's entire e.p. on our walk back from the river.
he's gonna download everything off the collective site.
I mean.... how freaking cool is the Internet?
so- back at ABC, my 7 dorm-mates were snoring- I showered again. (still no shampoo) and silently packed up my shit.
I thought about maybe flicking the lights on and being obnoxious to get them back, but decided against it.
i checked out of the hostel-- took a taxi to the ferry. and now its 12:11 ironically (exactly an hour later) and I'm en route to indo!
one hour and I'm in batam... where I will charge it to the airport- and make my flight to padang. no clue if someone will be there to pick me up. here's to trusting.
ow ow owwwwwwwww