Leh Palace, Ladakh, India.
Climbing up through the mudbrick alleyways to the Palace, the altitude makes your lungs feel extra amazing and kind of stings the windpipe in an invigorating way.
"old town cafe" sits under the Palace that is carved right into the craggy mountainside.
We stepped inside... Down the toilet-smelling stairs and found the most adorable little girl running the underground cave-like cafe.
She whispered her words in broken English and bobbed her head side to side as she spoke- (the Indian nod.)
We sat on floor cushions and ordered ginger lemon honey teas from her modest little one page menu sheet.
She smiled and scurried off ducking behind a curtain to prepare them for us.
As she returned proudly with the teas and a heart melting smile, we invited her to sit and talk with us since we were the only ones there.
She whispered stories about her family near Lake Pangong (what we now know to be no-man's-land an seemingly uninhabitable) as the sun poured over her shoulders through the makeshift skylight in the stone above us.
She was a true Himalayan.
J
ohn inspected the roof of sticks and dung patties.
We continued to be shocked by the lack of fireplaces!
"just throw some of that dung on a fire, man!" J.O kept exclaiming warming his mittened hands together.
Our little friend walked us through the Palace giving us a tour with her soft voice and sideways bobbing head... Practicing her English and asking us questions as we maneuvered up and down ladders and through dusty hallways of mudbricks and straw.
On the roof of the Palace, overlooking all of Ladakh in it's Majesty, she turned to me, looking deeply into my eyes and asked gently,
"what is your ambition?"
Whewsh.
I was a little dumbfounded by the question.
"My ambition?"
She nodded side to side
"uh...."
she smile
"well...To write and be published, I guess."
I replied stuttering.
What IS ambition?
It holds this really serious, business-like, promotion, bonus, potential, pencil skirt and French-Twisted hair connotation to me....
But then I google that word and the first hit says "the desire for personal achievement."
So what does that have to do with money or someone else at all?
After leaving the Palace and wishing our little friend adieu, we wandered around Leh some more...
And then did the same the next day.
And the next.
Each day, finding a new avenue or alleyway that seemed to symbolize my finding a new viewpoint or state of mind somehow.
"all I want to do is wander & write!" I said one afternoon.
"dooo it" johnE replied in his typical mellow, but all-knowing yoda-like fashion.
Thats my ambition. That's what I desire.
I remember sitting on the front porch of the Om hOMe in Venice before I left with my brotherman Joe Con (the word made fresh)... And we made up a rhyme about me visiting every nation and giving global resuscitation with my positive vibration ...
And then I want to write about it.
That night I lay in bed looking through the lonely planet book and reading about their authors.
I saw the story of the couple that started it and how they ended up with this empire they now have... Leading and guiding hungry gypsies around the globe.
That's my ambition.
I started this note on my I-thing when I first got to India called
"so ya wanna go to India, huh?"
Every misstep or mistake I make on the way, I recount so my friends and future gypsy nomads can benefit from my mistakes...
I think that's lonely planet's idea too.
Maybe I should just work for them...
Zani Roberts, gypsy mermaid, wandering writer.
I like it.
My bio is already done.
It just really takes so much trust to walk blindly into the dark- marching into new experiences and countries.
Not so much bravery I don't think...
No- its just TRUST.
I have no clue how anything will pan out- but something in me is called to write and wander and I trust it will support me somehow.
I have 'wanderlust' in a big way.
The first line in my "so you wanna go to India, huh?" is
Must trust!
Trust or bust.
Either go 100% and ride the wave- surrender to the smells, sounds, chaos, fear, discomfort and danger... Or miss the cosmic reward on the flip side of the coin... Which I assure you is worth it all and more.
I traveled for 12 straight hours to get from Leh to Dharamashala yesterday. An insane plane/airport experience followed by two back-to-back 4 hour bus rides (one of which had an Indian man groping me the entire time basically sitting on my lap it was so packed with humans)
But I just surrendered.
There was nowhere to go but right where I was.
I re-read Siddhartha as the overflowing bus teetered and skidded around the bends from pathankot up into Dalai Lama land...
He said repeatedly that he had 3 talents- that he could fast, think, and wait.
Me too... Well... I'm working on the fasting and waiting. But I can wander, write and think...
I gazed out the window as we drove along the banks of what i decided should be called enlightenment river- huge white stones that looked soft like the gaze of a yogi lined the river we raced around- crossing over and over it... Back and forth and back and forth- up and up and up... Again.
We arrived as the sun was departing for the day... So we hiked up mountain in the dark to find a special cafe behind a waterfall where I strummed a guitar and ate vegetable soup.
On our walk back Johnny and I somehow began talking about money.
I told him how my dad often says "money is how people with no talent keep score."
Johnny pondered for a while and then said "if I had a million dollars, I'd just send all the guests home and live on the island alone. I wouldn't change one thing about my life."
I thought that was so beautiful.
John and Ainz have found their heaven. I'm so grateful they share it with me while I explore and learn and grow and wander and write.
I look at all the monks and peace-seekers around me in this place and feel connected and proud and grateful.
Pilgrims from all over the world are here to hear His Holiness the Dalai Lama speak for 3 days starting tomorrow.
We put down a pink yak wool blanket to reserve our spot in the Main temple this afternoon.
Walking around McLeod Ganj today post meditation at the Tushita meditation center- I felt like I could spend some time here.
I want to study Buddhism, reiki, Ayurveda, Hindi, Tibetan music.
I could just stay here for a year and take classes and learn and absorb and drink in all the wisdom and knowledge here.
But even just walking... Wandering and writing, I am learning and growing and so so grateful for every moment of this adventure.
"Siddhartha learned something new on every step of his path, for the world was transformed and he was enthralled."
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