A stormy afternoon in an Indian town that's built on the side of a hill like a Northern Californian town- nestled in the pine trees too.
I'm sitting on the same couch I sat in at 7 this morning.
It's the upstairs cafe at the green hotel where I am staying in Dharamshala, India.
This morning I had eggs and coffee. I ate as quickly as I could, paid and ran out the door to head down the hill to the main temple.
JohnE and I still had to register for the program.
Leave stuff to the last minute?? Moi?!
Yea.
So--- we charged it down the hill and got to gate 3, filling out our forms in line and finally getting to the front only to realize we needed passport photos for our registration badges to go in. Ooooookay. No big deal.
We went out into the buzzing streets in front of the temple and were directed past some cows hanging next to chai vendors and up a narrow flight of stairs to a strange Internet cafe - only to be told we couldn't use the color copier until 10:30 for some reason that was never explained to us.
Somehow we never got flustered.
We just rolled with it- decided to float through the obstacles of the morning... Without even so much as a discussion, it was just clear that everything would work out and there was no rush or reason to stress.
"I'll just buy some markers and color in the black and white photo if they don't accept a b&w photo copy" Johnny said.
We laughed and cruised back down to gate 3.
The irritated man giving badges tisked and accepted our shoddy black and white paper photos and sent us to get in line for the metal detector.
Got to the front only to find that we had contraband in our bags- no cameras, phones or I-things allowed.
Oooookay. No big deal.
I walked back out and found a bag check... Dealt with all that, blah blah blah- and finally made it into the temple.
John and I somehow reconnected at the foot of a staircase and made out way upstairs, literally crawling through the sea of people to find our spot- the hot pink yaks wool blanket we set up yesterday with our names taped on to reserve our space to sit.
Big surprise, it was moved.
The blanket now crumpled in a corner.
Ooookay. No big deal...
We found another spot and sat down on the freezing cold floor just in time for the entrance of His Holiness the Dalai Lama.
Bam.
Directly in front of me, there he was in all his sweet joyousness.
I pulled out my new book and started writing notes...
These are my notes and thoughts from the program- apologies if it's slightly incoherent or weird.
I just felt like I wanted to share all that I took from the program today.
-----------
Oct 23, 2011 - HH the DL @ Dharamshala (hollaaaa)
Breakfast- late... No passport photos... No iPod allowed... Blankets moved... Freezing.. Rain starts... Program starts...
Trying to find the English translation station on the handheld radio with a splitter so j.o. And I can both hear.
All I got is static.
But the humble, welcoming of all the monks and seekers sitting around us.
Man....
We warmed eachother with our smiles...
Finally we found English.
"examine my teachings and then decide if you should follow it." - the Buddha (like Siddhartha)
... So many Siddhartha references since I've been here- and I started to re-read the book on the bus coming here... and then last night I found a poem I wrote almost exactly one year ago called "a se.cret" - http://zaniroberts.blogspot.com/2010/10/secret.html
Sometimes it trips me out how I get into a similar headspace at the same time of year each turning year.
Anyway, HH says- if the lessons don't stand up to reasoning- then don't take it literally... Use it as a metaphorical teaching.
"to be an authentic scholor- you must hold reasoning to test all teachings"
...
*keep faith in your religion but respect all other religions.
What is the best religion?
'It's all relative!' he says
Like medicine...
Some medicine is more effective for different people- as long as it cures disease for a patient- then it's the best relatively.
...
The Buddha did not force his teachings upon his disciples.
...
In Indonesia when I am asked my religion (a popular conversational question) I always say "semua agama" - ALL religion!
I think about Elvis Presley who is said to have worn a rosary, prayer beads and other various religious pieces around his neck, under his clothes.
When asked why he said he didn't want to be left out of the afterlife on a count of a technicality.
Love it.
I like em all.
...
Rain pounded down on the part-outdoor temple- the radio just going to static again and again.
Monks circulated around with big kettles of chai... Pouring the sweet tea into the student's cups we passed back and forth peacefully.
We all shared blankets- handing bread and chai between the ocean of cross-legged and chilly attendees.
I could look straight at the Dalai Lama from where I sat but all I could hear through the radio was static- I think the Chinese station was too close to the English one.
...
Reception comes back.
"people have become too attached to their own religion so they can't see other religions for what they are... We all say do not harm others. Even Muslims say "love all creatures of Allah."..."
(ironically, the book I am writing starts with the character listening to the Dalai Lama speak in Hollywood and discuses this very thing)
"Love
Contentment
Compassion
Non-harming
... Follow these virtues and there should be no war in the name of religion."
People make their own story and fighting because of attachment to their story, bullying others for their religion.
Where is the
Love
Contentment
& truthfulness?
...
Robbie Patrick questioned my theories in New York a few years ago... My personal truth I adhered to. It blew my mind open.
How beautful to be challenged.
Releasing attachment and re-discover the elements of love, contentment, honesty.... Letting go of the story- the attachment to a scripture....
HH said "people who say they are non-believers can almost be the most honest and virtuous."
Because if you hold the virtues of a religion but don't fully apply... Once you subscribe to a religion you must be 100% otherwise corruption and greed can taint us.
All religion teaches not to be greedy.
We must practice religious harmony!
...
Both times I heard HH the DL speak live, I've been dead center right in front of him with an unobstructed view.
Part of me wants to be a monk.
Is that weird?
I can't explain it.
I have this draw to spend my life studying comparative theology and religion - being an "authentic scholor." and learning all there is to learn- using the test of reason...
Discovering what needs to be discovered and learning PATIENCE!!!
I am trying not to squirm-
To accept discomfort in it's divine moment of challenge.
Can I breathe through the burn in warrior 2?
Can I let go of the fixation on my legs falling asleep in meditation?
Can I accept that not everyone walks at my pace or thinks like I do?
Just as HH tells us to accept and honor each religion...
Because each of us is a unique vessel with a story- just like a little religion to ourselves.
There is a guru within each of us.
Especially here, as I sit and see the divine guru within the eyes of these Tibetan Buddhists- a tender knowing- a sweet acceptance- a reverence for all who seek.
No one is above anyone else... (though the smart ones brought cushions to sit on)
I wrote this poem last night before bed:
We seek the eternal
But can't wait for this moment to be over...
A strand
That we pull- that tugs on something deep and down below.
We forget.
...the journey is the gift * the prize is the path...
But would I have to give up my gold anklet with the jingly bell if I were to become a monk?
I asked. He laughed.
That strand
Pulled on something like an undigested piece of meat.
Let go! I cry out... Let go!!
To you. To him. To me.
I'm scared.
But it's so easy
We tell the many me's that hover and quiver in fear...
Just swap the 'C' and the 'A'
You see, ay?
It's almost SACRED to be SCARED... And that's okay.
But we must trust. It's trust or bust
For us who windy wanderlust...
I listen to the wind. To the wind of my soul...
My soul has wind. My spirit weather.
When it's dark and stormy my eyes still have starlight.
And
Why do we close our eyes when we kiss and sing and dream?
I heard someone ask that and I let mr. Jung answer from the grave - His words eternal.
His words eternal.
Will my words be eternal?
For that's what we seek, right?
The fountain
Of eternity.
So maybe writing now is my future legacy
I'll leave behind.
And for now
I'll slip into something more comfortable and be present in the
discomfort.
...
Morality.
"We must take it very seriously! Some petitioners say yes, we must base on religion, but any religion, no matter how good, cannot be universal."
(we are all unique!)
...
Karma & Rebirth - your practice brings you towards Nirvana
(I thought of Birdie playing me Nirvana on the island- I did get taken to Nirvana! Ha.)
A happier life is attained by living ethically and morally.
"moral ethics (away from any religion) is the important thing here. A doctor tells a patient to rest.... But even if the patient goes to lie down and his mind races- he thinks and stresses and has nightmares... This is not rest. We must do away with mental unrest."
"We need mental rest and ease by being
OPEN
HONEST
& KIND
With others..."
And we must still the mind to find true peace.
When we are peaceful in the mind we can find physical health.
Hate & frustration eat into our bodies and decay us away.
...
Money cannot buy happiness.
Only peace of mind...
The key to happiness
The key to health.
"Secular ethics- we must remove hate, frustration and discomfort from our vocabulary and from our culture."
...
I think it's like I teach in yoga about dis-ease and how it makes you sick.
I think back to a few months ago when I fell really sick. I had just been on the boat with Jessica where we were really wallowing in our discomfort instead of just accepting it and finding gratitude that we were together in paradise.
Sometimes Jessica and I are able to laugh of discomfort, but other times we just get into it and can literally make ourselves sick.
We are both gumby and can take everything too far and I think possibly I made myself sick because I was not allowing myself a state of mental rest and ease...
Maybe I was not being open, honest and kind to myself... Causing mental unrest and dis-ease within my body.
...
"4 bodies of the Buddha come from the nature truth body state of total purification. Engaging in path- you reach Buddhahood- state of total purity."
We must overcome the Afflictions of the mind to reach purity.
That Buddha-essence is what we strive for.
(I think to my three pillars of light- tia, Aaron & tawney)
They are of the Buddha-essence to me.
...
3 trainings for the Buddha are
•morality
•concentration
•wisdom
Undergoing so much hardship can ultimately be a path to wisdom - overcoming pain...
(though it's not the physical torment... But being able to concentrate and overcome)
"primary factor to lead us out of suffering is selflessness"
Remove the ego- the magnified vision of self in the moment and let go...
Then we have ease...
Peace of mind..
Then we can rest & digest
Restore & become whole once again.
...
Origin of Suffering
(p.s. What is the DEAL with all the suffering talk in Buddhism? Sheeeesh.)
Someone asked "because we can trace the cause of suffering, can there be a cure? Can we end it?"
HH replied "all suffering is rooted in ignorance."
Like, we want happiness but are not able to achieve it. We suffer (painful experiences and pleasurable ones that turn painful) and we have to trace it back- consciousness.
It's not external to us.
It's rooted in our consciousness.
Cessation of suffering = cessation of the Self.
Put an end to ignorance...
No karma is created.
Then suffering and misery cease to exist.
"Through knowledge we can overcome ignorance... Through power of concentration..."
Single-pointed focus (like a drishti... )
Use meditation and breathwork!
We must develop further & further with mindfulness & concentration to see clearly.
Cessation of suffering = Liberation
Moksha!!
(this made me remember the Upanishad "moksha beksho bandhaha" which means
'even the desire for liberation is bondage'
Boosh.... Right?)
Cuz when we are still locked in the spinning mind versus PEACE of mind... Concentration and single-pointed focus...
"reaching higher planes of existence through the examination and training of the mind- this is present in almost all religions."
Buddha said
'I will show you the path to liberation, but ultimately it is up to you."
Again- I remember a poem I wrote last year ( http://zaniroberts.blogspot.com/2010/10/summation-of-om.html )
That says
"i may guide you to the center of your soul...
but do not follow me out your door.
For i too stumble in the dark and walk towards a beacon i cant make out in the distance."
------
The program broke for lunch and there was a giant stampede- I felt stepped on... Pushed... This insane violent, aggressive energy took over the previously peaceful hall.
I couldn't believe it.
How human we are.
How quickly these seekers forgot.
I shook my head at the shifted now animalistic energy and left.
I walked back up the misty hill feeling like I had enough to marinate on for the day.
I will return tomorrow for the second day of teachings...
(and I will pack a warm sweater, a lunch, and a cushion to sit on - no iPod or phone - and remember my I.D. Tag)
Whewsh. What a morning.
Thunder rolled through the canyon and lightning struck the hotel as we were entering it knocking the power out.
JohnE, I remembered, has been struck by lightning twice.
(it is said that people who get hit once forever carry the charge that attracts it again... So often those struck once will be struck again and again.)
What a weird, wonderful world this is.
Lessons come in the coolest ways.
Sometimes we have to hear the same thing a million times in a row for it to sink in and make a lick of sense.
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