a quick trip to bali

The smell of the seafood fried rice being eaten by the new zealander in 28C permeated our air Asia flight and stung my nostrils...
A younger, less travelled version of zani might have thrown a fit and quite possibly thrown up...
But breathing through my mouth I just smiled and said ahhh-- how I love the aroma of southeast Asia. It stiiings the nostrils like champ's panther perfume that 65% of the time works every time...

And I laugh off the nausea bubbling in my stomach and look to my left and right, loosing myself in gratitude that my golden goddesses are here with me flying from Phuket to Bali after nearly 20 years of friendship and sisterhood.

Saying that, last night as cary, laura, our fairy godmother in thailand captain yogina and i sat at dinner in nai yang, Phuket - i found little dried shrimp in my green papaya salad and almost had a meltdown....
Almost.

Captain yogina was actually on the island earlier in the season as a surfing yogi guest at Togat Nusa retreat and just happened to be there the night I grandly and dramatically decided to become an aquatarian... (a fish eater)..

Back on the island (which feels like just yesterday and also a lifetime ago)... Caveman Cahn spearfished every day right in front of our island and we would sit out on the benches and talk about it-- the magic of diving and spearfishing.. He said he often preferred it to surfing as his personal religious church-like experience and daily communion within the tides... and THIS was coming from the caveman 'i break a surfboard a month and surf like it's my job' Cahn...

Shayno the pirate has recently said the same thing about spearfishing.

I, personally have never dived like this but from everything I hear, it's very much like yoga.. Pranayama, conscious breathing and centered single pointed focus dhyana... Like an underwater meditation.

I am planning to go watch and just practice being under water with Shayno when I come out in his boat next month... But no promises I will eat the fish he spears...

Cahn promised me he said blessings and gave thanks to the life of the fish before he would spear them-- and would only actually kill the fish if it was big enough and of eating quality... It was not a game or a sport- it was a meditation and an art and it was for a purpose.
And in all honesty, I enjoyed the garlic tuna or trevali Ruli would prepare with the freshly caught fish on the island...

But these little salted dried (perhaps canned) shrimp are worlds away from that and make my stomach turn... I can't help it....

Even between Captain yogina's giggles and taunts about my aquatarianism, I haven't been able to eat seafood since leaving the mentawais...

I am really excited to go back...

Cary, Laura and I are on this seafood smelling plane headed to Bali and I must say, filling out my immigrassi form I am already getting butterflies to return to this country I have fallen so in love with.

----

We arrived in Bali and were greeted outside the arrivals hall by a driver who whisked us away to Ubud.

We made our way up the island while I babbled on and on to our driver 'Made' becoming fast friends...

Pulling up a series of typical indonesian alleyways- floored by tarps of rice and various other drying goods, roosters wandering about... By Temple after magical Hindu temple tucked into every home and property... We finally pulled on to a manicured driveway an arrived at one of the most spectacular villas I've been to.
(and I've been to some epic ones)....

This open air chic Indonesian style villa unfolded out into an infinity pool that seemed to glisten as it poured itself out towards the sweeping panoramic view of ubud rice paddies and jungle...

A young looking blonde man emerged from the pool rather merman-like and grabbed a pool towel that was elegantly rolled on a brass platter next to the stairs.
He greeted us with warmth and kindness and I was introduced to Jamie, the son of our hostess, Jane.

Jane is a longlonglongtime family friend of the McCormicks... In fact, she introduced cary's parents. Another moment of realization that we wouldn't be here in this moment had it not been for....

Everything in life is showing itself to me in this way...

The giant cosmic reminders to be present and patient in moments of stress and irritation, because those moments will be stepping stones towards something we can't yet see in the future...

When we live in the city and work towards an end... A promotion, a paycheck, a bigger house, a "future"... This evolving growth is obvious and blatant, but when you float and drift... Live as a gypsy... Sometimes it's too hard to see a destination... Or find a means to an end before the end.

Why am I living the way I do?

Laura mentioned that she explained me to her new boyfriend as someone who doesn't really live anywhere... Just everywhere...
I like this. I really am living everywhere.
I am LIVING in each moment, each breath... Each swing of te pendulum from darkness to light, from adventure to adventure... Allowing myself to fall into destructive silly behavior to find myself returning to peace and light and yoga...

This makes me remember learning to rollerblade in the 2nd grade in Long Beach.
My dad took my sister and i to Lowell Elementary school (undoubtedly packed head to toe in protective gear at my sMother's demand)... Helmets, elbow pads, knee pads.

She was always scared we'd get hurt but my father would brush it off and "comeon son!" us daughters... Reminding us that we are Lebherz girls... The strongest and most resilient superhero humans on earth.

We practiced and fell.. And I can remember finding the asphalt of the playground so rough it rattled my brain in the helmet as my wheels rolled along the harsh ground.
It was like a machine gun shooting out from my in-line wheels.

...and then we hit the soft stuff... That poured concrete section of the playground that was like cruising across butter. I felt like an ice skater gliding along the road with ease.

But I knew that the road would get bumpy again up ahead so I just slowed down and smiled and enjoyed when it was soft.
It was worth the bumpy asphalt to get to this other section....

It hurt to fall on the rough part and was pretty okay when it was soft.
My dad taught us to dive into grass If it was nearby.
Slowly we were able to start ditching the elbow pads and had the competence to go rollerblading alone and unpaddes.

Now adays I am gliding around Asia on my metaphorical blades of bravery... I no longer wear a helmet (though my mother would probably be much happier if I was literally walking around bali in body armor)...

And sometimes I fall and sometimes it's bumpy but I always seem to find that soft patch of ground and keep my eyes open and a patch of grass nearby if I need to bail.

My parents taught me so well.

So did Laura's parents and so did Cary's...

One of the houseguests at Jane's villa, a wonderfully reflective upside down mirror of me, named Victoria... Said "wait! All three of you girls... All your parents are still married? How strange!"

It's true.

All three of us come from amazing stock, incredible breeding, strong values and Very close knit families who all love one another.

All 3 of us LOVE eccentric people and dinner parties with strangers and that's exactly what we experienced that night.

Jane came back from a two week dive trip and the entire boat (about 15 people) came for a dinner party our second night in Ubud.

I spent time talking to all of the guests- Jane's fabulous friends- who were truly "fabulous" in every sense of the word... All highly creative, very well to do, often "rah rah" world traveling adventurers with grand magical life stories to share.

Spending so much time with surfers, pirates, and gypsies over the last six months, It was a welcome change of pace to stay in this palace and shmooze and laugh and share stories with this group of people over vodka drinks. The jingle of Ice cubes clinking in glasses made a sort of harmony with the sound of wood bangles and bracelets dancing on the wrists of gesticulating story teller's.
(something we all know I'm a pro at)

At one point Jane asked us for help in the kitchen as her help had to leave early for the night. The three of us of course jumped up- well versed in the ways of assisting the parent's party!
Jane took my hand and led me right out of the kitchen and said "oh no darling. You're needed out here. You're an entertainer"

I was flattered and also slightly sad to not be in the kitchen with cary and Laura laughing and cleaning dishes, sipping cabernet with sudsy hands as we have done together so many times over the last few decades.

Laura said Later that night as we were cuddled on a chaise lounge next to an almost fully melted candle and arsenal of empty wine glasses, lounging together in the exhale of the dinnerparty... "nobody works a crowd like zani"

And again I felt this acknowledgment of who I am... Realizing how my path and past have carved out stepping stones to bring me to this current reality.

I am a gypsy hostess... A people person and an entertainer...

I truly love people. I love meeting and talking to and getting to know just about everyone on earth.
I think of myself a bit as a multifaceted crystal that can match a side of myself against almost anyone.
I'm an energetic chameleon.

And I'm trying to be an aquatarian.

This week has been phenomenal- standing in front of Cary and Laura- looking at myself in the non-threatening mirror and actually liking what I see...
I see the good and the bad and I love the all.

We made friends with elephants and rode through the sacred monkey forest--- we sipped wine and woke up at dawn to practice yoga over picturesque panoramas...

And then we loaded back up on to a seafood smelling plane and headed back to Thailand.

I am so happy my sisters got to see me in my country-- the place I feel so at home in- and in my element- entertaining in Indonesia and shrugging off the smell of canned dried shrimp and other unpleasant aromas.

I feel like I've grown up a lot in the last year- and so have Laura and Cary... We all understand life from a different and yet very similar perspective...

Next stop paradise for some goddess beach time in Ko phi phi.