...you can't spell EVOLVE without L-O-V-E

we went to the village today.

we have these badass chicks staying on the island right now. i have already made a plan to roadtrip with them from sydney to byron bay (where everyone and their mother keeps telling me i have to go...)
it's one of those things that i hear on repeat so many times... constantly... that i figure its a sign. a synchronicity.

i have a feeling that could be an awesome adventure.

so we went on a mini adventure today. the girls came in from surfing this morning and asked if i would take them over there. i LOVE that they were so into it. two of them are kindergarten teachers, so i get that spirit and energy in a big way. we brought my beautiful sister Linda (our chef), our new surf guide, and two Aussie guys who are guests right now came too.
i am doing my best to be loving to everyone, even those people that i see as bigoted and homophobic... the kind of people that JohnE, Ainz and i would put a hand symbol of an "E" with a cross through it on our forehead... meaning "non-evolver"

it seems as though there may be somewhat bit of an influx of "non-evolvers" in my life at the moment...

people who live in fear and say things that make me cringe a little and have to turn my head away.

in the past i have shrugged and turned away towards my circle of "evolver" friends and family and marveled at the brilliance of their light... ignoring those choosing to stand in the dark... but at times, especially on an island, i find i have no choice but to engage and be friendly and gently remind them that it's somewhat inappropriate to teach the children of the Mentawai village how to say "fucking homo"...

i do my best to love these types of people but i find it hard to stay lit and flow when among suffocating stifling, stiff energy.

so-- today, i chose to put on my energetic blinders and just hang with the badass girls and with the magnificent John and Ainz and Yona and my other beautiful ndonesian family members on the island.
They make my heart warm.
They make me feel loved and appreciated.
They make me feel like i belong.

Although, we ALL belong, don't we?

i mean - we are all on this earth, so i really think that it truly does "take all sorts"...

i think we all contribute a certain ingredient to the recipe of the universe... but i guess sometimes i like to keep my mashed potatoes away from my salad... on the other side of the plate. we can share the plate, but on that plate i want some separation.

ironically, tonight at dinner i made a potato salad out of last night's leftover mashed potatoes and chopped veggies.

so, maybe i am trying too hard to mix everything up... to be present in situations that turn me off. and maybe it's okay to just be OFF, and let the potatoes be potatoes and the salad be salad...

So, tonight... while a party ensued around me... the costumes came out... the punk rock music started blaring... the aussie voices screaming incredibly rude, misogynist comments across the room... and my heart started feeling like it wanted to close its eyes... to protect this sacred place, this island which is my place of worship... i snuck away and stared at the moon.
i found a seat away from the party...
this late night driftwood castle dance party that under normal circumstances i would be helping to conduct... to instigate... and dancing on the bar and demanding those people who hate tequila still take the shot and feel the burn... and closing my eyes as i held one hand around the pole and spun around the room.



but tonight, i chose to just not participate.

i let the party happen around me and i closed my eyes and i spun inward towards my heart.

Ainsley and i were talking earlier about how empowering it is to realize that you don't have to be friends with everyone. As much as you can be this multi-faceted diamond and connect with nearly everyone on at least one level or facet... its also okay to not connect, and surrender to being just on another page...

it's okay to just walk away and go lie on the beach and stare up at the stars.

Earlier today as we were returning from the village, my new Aussie chick friend Jules said to me "interesting that everywhere you go in the world, there is a place of worship."
its true.
it is quite amazing, that everyone... in every civilization and community and tribe, there is a house or place that people go to worship something or someone.

(there is a church in the village we visited today where my friends Cahn and Sue got married in March)

As i lay out on the sand on top of my purple pashmina, my arms above my head, my heart open to the crystal clear sky above me... i realized that this place is my church.
this is truly is my place of worship...

by the sea.
under the sky.
my breath in sync with the waves
my ears in tune with the sounds of the atmosphere.
my veins flowing like the tides
my spirit mirroring the galaxy

my god spot.

i think this is why i am vibe-ing so hard with the Pantheism...

PANTHEISM - * the unity of all that exists; * the regularity of all that happens; and * the identity of spirit and nature.

this is some kind of quiz that i took today... http://www.selectsmart.com/plus/select.php?url=Pantheists

my result was 100% Idealist Pantheism and 99% Dualist Pantheism.

i love this religion.

my church... here.
under the stars, by the sea.

and recognizing that i am one with the aussies wearing wigs and screaming "fahcking cant" over and over, back in the bar.

it takes us all to create this reality... but we get to chose where we go... what we do... and how we spend our time here on earth. We get to navigate our bodies through this existence...
and tonight i sat solo and stared at stars and smiled at my soul.

"a traveller am i... and a navigator... and every day i discover a new region of my soul."
-Kahlil Gibran.

so i decided to just 'rise above it' as my grandmother lebherz would say... and just love everyone regardless of their vibe.
because you can't spell EVOLVE without L-O-V-E