En route to San Francisco, my other other hOMe away from hOMe- wherever that may be.
In all my travels (51 stamps in my passport and that's just international)... Virgin is my favorite airline hands down.
From their safety videos to their on-board amenities and not least of all, their customer service.
This flight was delayed about 2 hours due to stormy weather I may or may not have created (I'll get to that later)... So we all sat in San Diego airport biding our time drinking our wine... Well drinking our 5 dollar Fiji water bottles, but the Beatles make it sound way sexier with the wine and the wood and all that.
The girls at the gate who were regularly updating us over the loud speaker were just so sweet and apologetic and genuine, I don't think one person got ruffled by the delays as you usually see.
Sure we are only flying upstate... It's not like we have been traveling internationally for days and are exhausted, tired & grumpy - something I know all too well.
But when they finally called to board us, they called the groups cheerily as "Group A for Amazing... Because that's what you are for being patient." and then "B for Beautiful since you are all such beautiful people."
Am I getting sucked back into the saccharine American way?
Maybe.
But i loved the way it just tickled all the elderly people on my flight who stood adorably and eagerly awaiting group F to hear that they were Fantastic or G for Gorgeous.
I am just a big fan of spreading joy and giggles, even if it is scripted and maybe not totally sincere, as I'm sure critics will say.
I climbed on board with the other Fantastic group F-ers, stashing my green REI backpack I trekked around the world with in my overhead compartment and sat down, aware that we were in for a bumpy stormy flight.
I pulled out my rose quartz travel amulet, the pink yaks wool blanket that I was given in India and a book by a Tibetan monk I befriended one day in Dharamshala, India while wrapped in this pink, as i was preparing to head into a ten day silent Buddhist meditation retreat.
At one of our lunch dates, the venerable Pema Choephel proudly gave me his book "A Garland of Pearls" which has three translations all in a row within the thin book as an exchange for a massage I gave him- just another bizarrely unique and awesome experiences- massaging a monk in his Cabernet colored skirt with the marigold yellow rope tying it on- but bear chested and lying on my guesthouse bed in McLeod Ganj, India.
Somehow I never read this book while abroad and I happened to see it out of the corner of my eye lying on a shelf in my parent's house as I darted out the door to make it to the airport early this morning.
As the stewardesses came around down the plane smiling and taking drink orders, I read the line:
"you should not only refrain from divisive speech, but you should speak words that create harmony."
It set me into thinking (as most things do) about karmic reaction and the consequences of being grumpy and bitchy.
Sometimes I am just having a bad day- I feel foggy and confused- directionless and frustrated.
I snap at my mom when she tries to offer constructive criticism and although I can dole out all the advice in the world to my beloved friends and family, I forget even the most simple words that I yearn to hear and remember to set me straight. Instead I spiral intensely into a funk that seems to suck the life out of the air around me.
As equally as I can bring joy with me places - I think my negativity can be contagious and toxic when I allow it to run free like unchained criminals let loose to wreck havoc and hell in the energy around me.
It has been a ROCKY re-entry this month.
I returned from about 11 months abroad at Christmastime and feel like I still haven't quite come right.
In the last year I was on 28 planes and visited 7 countries.
I made zero money, about 200 new friends and a lifetime of stories and memories.
I was on a cloud the last month I spent in India... Oozing out with love- hugging strangers and singing everywhere I went. I felt in sync with the ALL. I felt utter bliss and joy.
But America made me so angry when I first came back.
I didn't see it as a challenge, like I see new countries I visit... I saw it as a joyless, money-obsessed cesspool of over-indulgent, narrow-minded jerks.
I was surrounded by my beautiful, open minded, gentle hearted, altruistic, passionate & creative family and friends but somehow I couldn't see that as redeeming for the country as a whole.
I've spent a significant amount of time in the last month crying and buried under blankets, unwilling to come out like the proverbial ostrich... Head buried in the sand.
As I waited at San Diego International all morning I wrote back and forth with a spirit sister and friend who reminded me what I needed to hear.
I am young, free and single. The world is my oyster. Everyone is in debt... Just take risks and be brave and trust.
She reminded me of a conversation we had In England in December as we walked past Buckingham Palace looking for a soup kitchen we could eat at because we were both so cash poor and couldn't imagine spending 10 pounds on a meal when it could have fed us for 2 weeks in India/Nepal where we had just come from.
I realized and wrote to her about how sometimes (and I recognize that this sounds crazy) but sometimes I think my mood is reflected in the weather.
I'm not saying I CREATE the weather patterns or anything... But when it's dark and stormy in my soul it seems to get turbulent outside.
I was sitting at the airport delayed writing to her about my vacillating back and forth between whether or not i will return to indonesia this year- and had this ah-ha moment that I couldn't FLY because there was a shitstorm in my brain...
I created all this foggy confusion and stormy weather in my soul... So no wonder I was having a hard time deciding what to do and how to make plans for the coming year.
I'm pretty sure I figured it out now.
Yes- sitting on the floor at Gate 25, I got clarity for the first time in a while.
Not in my meditations or standing on my head, where it usually comes.
It was here in an American airport surrounded by symbols and messages reminding me to speak honest, kind words and practice virtuous behavior that will create love and harmony.
I am done shit-talking America.
This country is my hOMe land no matter how far I go or how long I stay away.
I am proud to carry my big thick blue American passport. It's because of this challenging, often times maddening country that I have the opportunity to freely go where I want to go and experience all that I do.
I'll be flying to Australia in March to explore the land of kangaroos and koalas and then heading to Indonesia to teach yoga at Surfing Village in the Telos islands- north of the Mentawais. And then returning hOMe to America to start my pre-nursing school classes.
It seems like this road to becoming a nurse will be longer then I originally anticipated, but I'm ready for the challenge... And ready to take advantage of my opportunities as an American citizen. (apparently all my tuition fees as a poor, independent student can be waived at community colleges in California which is unreal)...
I'm ready for some clear skies.
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