OPTing for OPTimism

OPTing for OPTimism!

Last season I left a few things behind here at Togat Nusa when I left and skipped off to India, one thing i left behind was a brown leather pouch containing my tarot cards.

The Tarot is interesting to me because of how people react to pulling cards and getting readings.
I personally don't see it as fortune telling or magic necessarily… No, i see it as pulling a word of intention for the day - something to be aware of… It's more of an awareness practice for me.
I like to look at myself and my tendencies within the framework of whatever that card reads.
Anyway - some people love it… some hate it. I think it's really cool.

SO the last few days I have been sleeping in a guest bungalow (amaaaaaazing special treat since there are no guests here)…

Each morning after the sun starts to come up and spill light across the driftwood dream hut, I roll out of bed, chug some water, pull a tarot card and then find my way to child's pose and start my morning asana practice.

While i kneel there on the mat, my third eye pressed to the earth, I think about that card and just focus on opening my mind and heart to that - accepting it, exploring it and setting an intention to just be aware of that energy throughout the day.


Three days ago I chose "rejection" and realized as I was falling asleep that night that I had rejected the security blanket of my millions of bangle bracelets and necklaces that i never take off - cutting them off in response to a dream I had where i did just that. Then i rejected my anxiety about surfing and paddled out. And throughout the day I was rejecting negative, destructive thoughts that have become a habit of creeping in.

The next day I chose "knowledge" and found myself sitting with Matt, the surf guide, studying math (the bane of my existence) to review and brush up before i have to take a math placement test so i can fulfill a requirement for nursing school.  Then I received an email from my soul brother Joshie in LA who I had been emailing back and forth with. We love a book called "Das Energi" - its one of those books where you just open to any page and BAM you get some wisdom. So I told him to pick a page and send me what it said.
The page he opened to said one word.
"knowledge."

It floored me for a moment and then i just smiled and shook my head, knowing that this was not coincidence. There really are messages from the universe all around us.

I got an email from one of my dearest mirror reflection sisters, Liz who has just finished a 2 month adventure in India and is now back in Australia. She recently split from her fiancé who lives out here in the Mentawais and runs a charter boat, like Shayne.

We talked for a long time about where we were at emotionally and although she was dealing with much more challenging things then i was, it was her who was imparting wisdom and providing solace for me somehow.
She is such a divine, amazing creature - oozing with wisdom and inspiring energy… Plus, she's also a writer so she speaks straight to my soul in such a fabulous way. - read her blog - www.365daysinbliss.wordpress.com

I was telling her about my indecision and vacillation in various avenues of my life… "i'm struggling to use good judgement and keep hoping some wisdom will come down from the clouds and tell me what to do." I told her.

"and if it does, would you listen to it?" she asked me

i thought about it for a minute and then started laughing realizing that no. I would probably question it! It would be using good judgement to listen to wise words from an angel… Chances are I wouldn't listen to it at all.

"Exactly! but sages are hidden everywhere...  Go pick up a book, any book, ask it the question and open a page. Even if it is Harry Potter, it will tell you what you need to know because the "I" knows the answer, the "I" is never confused and poor confused Zani will see the answer that the INNER guru wants her to see and then she will understand what to do"

This is EXACTLY what Joshie and I do with Das Energi - something i had been reminded of just the day before.

Facebook let me know just then that my little sister (who i admire more then most people on earth) posted this little nugget of wisdom

“Optimism is the belief that good things will happen to you and that negative events are temporary setbacks to be overcome.”
 - it came from this NY Times article that i absolutely LOVE….
 http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/05/21/a-richer-life-by-seeing-the-glass-half-full/

My whole energy shifted upon reading that article.

I am an OPTIMIST! I am genetically predisposed to optimism! I am the daughter and sister of optimists… high vibrational beings have been surrounding me my entire life.
It's not by accident that I see the glass half full… hell, I see it as an overflowing smaller cup just relocated to a bigger cup, like transplanting plants to bigger pots.

I went out in the garden and helped Yona and the girls plant some red hibiscus plants around the island, and when JohnE came by and called me a "girly girl" i huffed off and grabbed a surfboard and paddled out into waves alone to prove (to myself more then anything) that i was brave and strong. It was a pretty hopeless endeavor but made me feel good nonetheless.

That night it was just JohnE and I since Ainsley, Miwa & Matt were in Padang and we didn't have guests.

JohnE and I are good friends and I feel like I can talk to him about anything which is really cool. Last year we went to India together and I cherish the bits of wisdom he would lay down here and there on our journey.  "The Surfers Journal, a big surf magazine wrote an article on him & Ainz last year and said "he speaks quietly, and not very much, but when he does, it's always worth listening to."
This is so spot on.

I mentioned that I had taken two semesters of sculpture in community college about 9 years ago and he told me that I  should sculpt a buddha out of wood for the island. I got so excited my eyes lit up! An art project!!
Then we sat over dinner and talked about relationships, judgement and making good choices. Not that the conversation lasted that long, but it gave me just enough material to marinate on and think about as I returned to the bungalow.

I logged online and saw a Facebook post from my friend, Anne Van De Water.
http://vibrationtransformation.com/index.html
Okay - let me first tell you that I am in AWE of this woman.
She is the embodiment of what i aspire to be. She walks around the planet radiating LOVE LIGHT BLISS - it is like her mantra and she is the real deal.
She's a yoga instructor and vibrational healer and spirit guide who lives in Santa Barbara. I met her a few years back through Susan, the creator of yogitoes - the company i was the Art Director at for years in Venice Beach.
Susan is another one of these really miracle women who attracts gorgeous, authentic light workers and optimists of the most divine kind.

Anne wrote on Facebook

"I have officially made it through one week of the Positivity Practice and have not uttered a word of:

*Criticism
*Complaining
*Gossip
*Bitching
*Negative language

I feel amazing :))

This is what I have realized...

I have been doing my best to live this way for awhile now.

Ho'o'ponopono (The on-going practice of sending the blessings of I LOVE YOU * I AM SORRY * PLEASE FORGIVE ME * THANK YOU to myself and others) is what helped get me here.

Once you feel the ease, grace and countless blessings of living in the high vibration of Love, Forgiveness, Humility and Gratitude, it's just not worth it to give it all up to complain about some temporary happening and I definitely think twice now before I do so now :))

I am deeply and truly devoted to speaking in the Sacred Language of LOVELIGHTBLISS ♥"
……..

I watched Anne's video on her website http://vimeo.com/35682865 before bed and felt this overwhelming sense of excitement and rebirth of something inside me… Maybe its the sleeping optimist inside me that has somehow lost her way…
Well she was waking up as i was falling asleep, reciting the words in my head

"i realized some fundamental truths - the way you treat yourself is how the world treats you - and the way you see yourself is the way the world sees you… we have to be the living embodiment of our mission…  your mission has to permeate every fiber of your being."

i love this video. i could watch it a million times.

I fell asleep smiling.

around 3am I woke up to one of the brightest flashes of lightning i've ever seen and a clap of thunder that simultaneously ROARED  with such ferocity, the walls and windows of the bungalow shook.
Although, of course, i was startled (to say the least) I refused to dip into fear and panic.

The center of my chest was vibrating like it had been electrocuted.
Could I have gotten contact high from a really really close lightning bolt?
JohnE has been struck twice by lightning on this island - once so hard that he was knocked out blind and deaf for a period of time.
I know that often people who have been struck once, somehow become magnets and get struck over and over again - I'm not totally sure what thats about… but it did make me wonder if he was okay - just a few bungalows down… I stopped myself from even going into that kind of thinking and instead just rose above it and used that electric vibration in the center of my chest and sent it out surrounding the whole island in love and safety.

What was this buzzing in my heart? Was this simply from "transforming my vibration" as Anne would say, before i went to bed? Or did i really pick up a current from the electrical storm that was flashing and crashing around me?

The sound of pounding rain put me back to sleep.

I woke up around 7am and went through my routine - tarot card - childs pose.

The card I pulled this morning was "the star" ---- This card is about following your own star, living your life with a sense of purpose, and finding meaning and inspiration. You may have unexpected assistance as you pursue your dream. Remember to be true to yourself, commit yourself to your sense of purpose, and things will work out better than you anticipated.

if this wasn't completely on par with what i fell asleep thinking and talking about,  i don't know what is.

I sat on the floor for a long time thinking about my mission.
What IS my mission?

I first thought about the "Bodhisattva Vows" I accidentally (or maybe not so accidentally) took with the Dalai Lama at his temple in Dharmashala, India.
JohnE took them too. We kneeled side by side and recited the vows in Tibetan with red ribbons draped across our foreheads.

the vows of a Bodhisattva, I learned later on while at Tushita Meditation retreat  - are essentially to end the suffering of every sentient being on earth. No easy task… but lets be real - when have i EVER taken the easy road?

I'm up for the challenge.

I think that my personal mission is to help heal the world… To live my yoga, walk my truth, embody what I teach & believe...
To study nursing and alternative medicines like the Gerson Therapy… and help bring some ease back to those who are diseased and suffering.
To create optimistic/positive thoughts
and release negative.destructive thoughts...
To make art - sculpt, paint, draw, write, sing, CREATE and share it with the world...
and to FORGIVE & LET GO

i LOVE this mission.

After my practice, i combed the beach for little orange shells while a dragonfly skirted around me, chasing me up and down the beach as if he was giving me a message of some sort. I chose orange because it is a sacred color in many religions… I think of sages, babas, and spiritual leaders that i have met who have been caped in draping orange robes.

I made this Bodhi tree out of the orange shells.

I'm not sure why or what i am going to do with this idea, but it felt like the right thing to do and it made me smile.

I believe that good things will happen to me and that negative events are temporary setbacks to be overcome!

OPTIMISM RULES!