"valeu apena"

Surfing Village...


Michelle and I sat in the crows nest watching the surfers throwing surf boards around and flying upside down and landing in impossible situations among huge barreling glassy waves.
Yesterday was day one of these guys trip and already the cover for next month's Surfing Magazine has been shot and sent off to the editors.

I sat there under the sun, rocking my post-yoga glow and basking in the love that was emenating off this island...
under a million and a half coconut trees that towered above us...
in front of a mountain that was literally steaming in the most gorgeous tropical light you have ever seen cascading down and towards this mecca of surf boards, beautiful brazilian vibes and low lit multi-story bungalows...

"valeu apena"

this is a new Portugese phrase i learned that means it was worth the shame... its was worth the BS...

This moment - just today - it was worth the travels... worth the chaos... the discomfort... the debt... the everything...

I am so grateful to be here, I can't even begin to express it.

We sat around a bonfire tonight under the full moon and exposed dry reef as the huge waves continued to roll through in front of us... the boys were still OOFing as they saw the moon shadows dance across the sets coming through beyond the bonfire smoke.

My new friend Andrew was telling me last night how lucky he feels to be able to surf for a living. He is 20 years old and just gets to play in the ocean for a living...
Saying that, of course, I watched him do some impossible things and clearly is an unbelievable athlete and deserves every bit of what he gets in life.
He is a beautiful soul... So are all these guys. I have been getting to know them all through massages, yoga classes, conversations around the pool table, bonfire, and in the restaurant as we eat meals prepared by my Brazilian buddy and Portugese teacher, Andre.

Surfing is such a beautiful communion with nature... And as much as it scared the crap out of me and i chose to sit on the beach or in the boat and watch or take pictures, i recognize the beauty in it and love being a part of this community.

I played my song tonight to the boys... of course, it's never the same without Baba Aaron there playing guitar - but i know he's here in spirit with me... Especially as I rock out the songs that he taught me in India... I am always to proud to tell people that I learned guitar in India in exchange for yoga classes from my amazing musician brother Aaron.

When i think about how much I am in debt... or start to freak out about planning for the future, i can feel my throat constricting... i can feel myself slipping into some kind of panic anxiety - and immediately i recognize it - something i learned through meditation - just observing this as it crops up.
I recognize it and release it and remember

Valeu Apena...

It's always worth it in the end.
As long as i am following my heart and doing what i love, surrounded by beautiful bright lights - and wonderful people with huge hearts and equally huge smiles... i can't be wrong.

Like Marcel the Shell says in the very last line...
"wanna know why i smile?... cuz its worth it."



OH man... i was just about to hit publish and it's 11:11pm.
DUH.