a hiSTORY of me

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"What's your story?"

I say that often to people mindlessly without actually thinking deeply into what it is that i am asking…
I guess essentially, I am asking to know the story that people are writing about themselves, although it might be totally different from the story their family members and friends would narrate… I am interested to know what people's personal narrations are saying.

For instance

right now according to zani's narrator - she is on a shuttle to the airport writing. at this moment in time she would define herself as a gypsy mermaid writer. (that's who i am inside my head today.)

This morning, i walked into the coffee shop across from Fairfield station (the Northern suburbs of Melbourne, Victoria). Fadad the Labanese owner laughed and said "oh! here comes trouble" as i stepped off the street and into his shop that i have come to love this week.
His beautiful Aussie girlfriend Ria smiled and said "strong long black?" with her hands already making my coffee.
In 5 days I already am a regular with a usual order? That's amaaaazing.

The three of us sat down and nibbled on trail mix, sipping our coffees and chit chatting. (they already have plans to marry me off to a Greek friend of theirs.)

I started talking about my parents and felt myself slip into the broken record-like story I tell about where I am from and "who i am"
I stopped and committed to telling the story i was about to tell a little differently then i usually do.
(i practiced this with everyone i met in India… making sure to switch up my intro with every different person so that i didn't become a slave to my own narration about where i had just come from.)

It's a little different when someone wants to know your life story… When they sit across from you with open ears, eyes and heart and genuinely are looking to understand me.

my story usually goes like this:

mom was a modern dancer. dad was an opera singer. she was choreographing an opera. carmel love story ensued. three daughter of which i am the middle (and a typical trouble-making middle child at that)… we moved to germany and switzerland while dad sang… ended up back in california when i was about 5 and lived up and down the coast of california. my parents love to move… gypsy blood I'm sure of it. at 9, our house burned down in the laguna beach forest fires, we rebuilt and moved to pacific palisades, where i would stay until i got married at 19 to a British rockstar… moved to London when i was 21 and then back to Venice Beach a few years later at which point i became a yoga instructor and art director for a yoga products company… went to burning man at 25 and was reborn. split with hubby shortly after. got lost in a venice vortex of music and love for a year until i broke free and found myself at a private island surf retreat in indonesia… went to india for 3 months and got even weirder. now i'm in australia on my way back to indonesia for another season of playing mermaid yoga hostesseuse for surfers. i have no clue what direction my life will take next, but something is calling me to live in australia.
I plan to have a plan by new years eve.

i just wrote that train of thought without much thought just to see what would come out.
I know that any one of my loved ones would tell you a vastly different story.
We are all such energetic chameleons and versatile interesting beings with amazing stories.
It just depends on what part you feel like attaching to and telling at that particular moment.

For instance… this is my story too:

grew up in LA. danced pre-professionally from age 2-14 when i had an accident and couldn't dance anymore. My life spiraled out of control and i became a "bad girl" doing copious amounts of drugs, breaking any rule that i could find to break… dancing with a DJ company at 16, getting tattoos and contraband with fake IDs, arrested and expelled from high school twice, i finished school in night school while getting my early childhood education credential from UCLA. Taught preschool at a jewish temple for 4 years and loved every moment of it. Travelled extensively in Europe, living in England for almost 2 years and spending 6 christmas seasons there. Travelled to Asia for the first time in 2010 and spent 2011 between Indonesia, Thailand and India. 2012 headed to Australia, running up a credit card but trusting that the universe would provide as long as i was being virtuous and spreading love and light around the world as i traveled. currently writing 3 books, all loosely based on my life.

…


I find myself wondering what story my coffee shop friend would tell his Greek friend when setting me up with him.
"I bet you need an older man… in his late 30s or 40s… someone who knows what to do with you." he said to me this morning.
"you are such a force of amazing energy… i bet younger guys don't know what to do with you and then you end up being their mother. is that right?"

my glazed over eyes and mind clearly suddenly flooded with memories probably tipped him off that he was certainly on the nose with that.

the word "history" has a story in it.

i am reminded that every step on this path is playing a part in our universal story, whether its a moment we we'll recount and retell with fondness or fear… or maybe just forget…
It is serving a purpose - like a preposition in a sentence that would make no sense without it.
Maybe its not the most impressive, long and fancy sounding word… but it is crucial.

"Your journey has molded you for the greater good. It was exactly what it needed to be. Don't think you've lost time. It took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to the now. and now is right on time."