pack a state of surrender

i came to padang to do my fingerprints for immigration.
i think it was a few days ago--- maybe a week. i can't be sure.
it's june though...
how is it already june 2011?

weird.


i tried to sleep the first night i got here at spice homestay in an air conditioned room on a springgy bed with a clock ticking next to my head and trucks zooming by on the street outside.

very weird.

the "real world" is always weird when i get here.

i lay in bed that night staring up at the reflection of car headlights from the street danced across the ceiling above me... illumniating the odd mosquito trapped in the room confusedly darting around looking for a way out of the ice box he had found himself in.
it must be VERY odd to be a Sumatran animal and find yourself somewhere cold.
it just doesn't exist naturally here.
everything is hot.
everything sweats.

my mind danced around like the lights from the street as i rolled around restlessly on the springgy bed that felt like a bag of weird squishy metal underneath me.

i thought about where i had been the morning before.
i had woken up on the island in one of the driftwood dreamhouse bungalows.
We didn't have guests so Birdie and I got to sleep in the bungalow instead of in the bar, like usual.
John E and Ainz and Beaker had come over in the morning to drape and lounge and hang and ask if we all wanted to go have dinner aboard the Indies Trader 4 that night.
We walked back over to the driftwood castle and i looked back behind me... John E was barefoot and barechested (as always) with beaker on his shoulder as he leisuresly strolled down the path looking up at the trees running his fingers along the leaves as he meandered across his island.
i said to him "what time will we leave"
without looking away from the trees he softly sang in his quiet sometimes inaudible John E way "sunset time i guess"
i looked down at my wrist and said "let's synchronize our arm hairs"
John giggled and said "I can't imagine trying to stay on time with a clock ticking. it's so unnatural."
He put his hand flat over his heart and patted his chest like a heartbeat
"That's the only tempo to stay connected to"

I thought to myself WHOOSH. so true. to profound. and simple. as every lesson i learn out here is.

Indos seem closer then we are.

Kahlil Gibran said "Come out of the circle of time and into the circle of LOVE."

true dat.

Time did some weird stuff as usual... I guess I have been on Sumatra for a few days. I can't really explain how or how long or what sequence things happened in...

But i found myself in a car on a long long daytrip with Dan, from the Palisades... we wound up to Bukittingi through hills sprinkled with marigold colored daiseys and pointed Minang style rooftops modeled after the Minang cattle horns... We drove up and up the roads with lines painted... though the lines are clearly just a suggestion.
Nothing is law.
Nothing is invariable here.

We stopped in a village for Gado-Gado and i wandered around... a little jalan-jalan...
I wanted to buy a bracelet for my new Mentawai friend named Yuli in Tua Pajet. Before i left to come out here i sat with her in her little warung and talked in Indonesian for about 3 hours. She gave me an avocado juice and a wooden bracelet before i left to get on the ferry, so i thought i would get her a little oleh oleh while i was out here in Sumatra.

I found a stand with a little lady sitting behind it in this small town on the way to Bukittingi.... i haggled backwards... going UP from what she originally offered to sell it to me for. She seemed shocked, but i felt good.
She deserved more then 20 cents per bracelet, so i gave her about 5 dollars for two.

Climbed back in the car.
The car climbed higher and higher through waterfalls and rice patties... coconut trees and suggested lines delineating lanes on these highways.

I kept telling Dan "Best not to watch" as i saw his knuckles growing more and more white from his tightening grip on the door handle as our driver played chicken with oncoming cars speeding around corners like a bat out of hell.

What a lesson on "letting go" i thought to myself.

Before Dan came to Indo he asked what he needed to bring and i simply responded "just pack a state of surrender. you will need it here"

That morning i had woken up early and sat at the table at the Spice Homestay and talked to my friend Sri about men and jealousy and how it is the worst worst emotion to have.
jealousy is toxic.
we must trust and surrender to everything instead.

The next night (i guess)... the rain came down in hot sticky sheets... passionate rain it felt like.
Water falling in giant drops from the sky that hung above West Sumatra.
the smells of the nearby jungles released into the atmosphere.
The echo of tropical rain on a tin roof transports me into memories of the past and fantasies of the future.

The morning brought coffee with my Aries soul sister and first wives club partner in life philosophy named Sri who runs the spice homestay here and is so badass. I thought she didn't like me for a long time, but convo by convo we find that we are the same... over and over again finding parallels and reflections in one another.

We could talk for hours over endless cups of coffee... and we do.

Yesterday (i think) - i walked to the market with my Aussie yogini girlfriend Liz who is coming back to the island with me and Birdie tonight (i think its tonight)... on the ferry. We had a pretty awesome adventure walking all over Padang, which nobody ever wants to do... but it was exhausting and fulfilling and dirty and gross and overwhelming and amazing and i loved it so so much.
We were like neon pink elephants walking through a sepia toned world... sticking out like amazon white women, though we were covered and appropriately dressed... we were clearly noticed by every single person in the vortex.
Liz is half mexican and gorgeous. she has beautiful native american inspired tattoos and carries herself like the goddess she is.
She and her fiance Bevo call the market the vortex because it goes for days and days and days it seems.
Fresh produce and plastic goods, Batik sarongs and Cane sugar juice sold in plastic bags with straws rubber banded... Vendors sitting in the middle of their pile of veggies covered in flies up above the muddy planks of wood we walk over to squeeze past each stall... live eels and leaches... fish splashing stinky water onto black jelly looking slices... the occasional dead rat to step over.
Everyone stopping us to talk.
Liz is getting a masters in Bahasa Indonesia and i am learning so we stopped and chatted to everyone, embracing the chaos and craziness and squeezing it tight to our bohemian loving hearts and hippie pranayama partaking soul
We went back to her house and had green smoothies that blew my mind.
I love to have healthy treats in this part of the world. they seem so few and far between.
Last night (i think)... i had dinner with a new friend who is here to work with Surfaid. SHe is from England but lives in Australia.
I saw her come out of her room at Spice and yelped.
a 5'10" blonde woman! whoa.
welcome!!!
We went to Fellas and ran into a bunch of friends. I like that i run into so many peiople i know around here...
its kind of a reminder of how small this community is when i come to padang.

After a bite to eat and one drink (that i didn't even want in the first place but was bought for me and i couldn't be rude)... i said goodnight to my new and old friends and walked back over to Spice to sleep.
At the gate i found the other Americans that are here to work with Surfaid including a woman named Tatiana who apparently is from the Palisades.
This blows my mind.

The small world gets smaller and smaller.

Today i am gathering my things and getting ready to head back to Tua Pajet on the ferry.
Its the long ferry that stops through Siobahn for 5 hours... meaning that i will be travelling back to the island (which is only a few hundred miles away) for about 20 hours.

Operation: Pack a state of surrender?
Game on.