Paintbrushes

Paintbrushes

I used to think that these things were giant paintbrushes.

I only saw them in beautiful places, like along the Big Sur coastline.  Beautiful backdrops that look painted on the sky. So of course it made sense to me that there should be a paintbrush near by.

Whoever the artist is, was hard at work creating the masterpiece we see when we take a minute and sit back inside ourselves... take a deep breath and take it in.

I spent the last day of 2015 driving down the California coast from my parents' house in Carmel to our home in San Diego with Carlos. It just kills me. It really and truly blows my mind that this is where I was born.

I've been just so so so many places. So many BEAUTIFUL places. 

...The idyllic palm tree packed islands of southeast Asia. Palms so crowded they bow towards the crystal blue waters as if leaning down to take a sip of the beauty and cool off from the equitorial humidity. 

... High in the himalayas where ice capped mountains jet out above simple but profoundly beautiful landscapes adorned with tattered, multi-colored prayer flags and yaks.
... Volcanic land where fire and ice meet in an eerie rhythm in Iceland
... Tanzania, The Maldives, Caribbean Central American islands, Hawaii, Thailand, Japan, the whole West coast of Australia, the English countryside, the rolling hills of North Wales, the South of France... the list goes on and on.
I've been there. First hand. I've seen astounding beauty and yet the Big Sur coastline takes my breath away every time.

How could a coastline be so beautiful?

This was the end of 2015.
A roadtrip with my love.
A leather Indiana Jones "adventure hat" my sister bought me for Christmas.
Running my fingers along the paintbrushes while looking out at literally hundreds of humpback whales swimming gracefully, spouting water into the sky and undulating in the blue waters.

2015 was a tough year. A beautiful year, but challenging.

I brought in 2015 in Honduras while working at a medical clinic and local hospital.
I came home and began my last semester at Mira Costa before starting UCSD.
I went to Canada for the first time and loved it!
During the summer months, my parents moved from San Diego back to Carmel, which was hard for me. I felt like a chunk of my support system had been removed.
But I still had my close friends who I had skype and email relationships with, and distance didn't take that away. But death did.
Birdie's death in September came down on me like a wall of bricks that crumbled and broke me in pieces. I started UCSD a few weeks later and have done my best to hold it together but it's been incredibly painful for me.
I started working in Tijuana, Mexico at a clinic for a really underserved community over the border every other weekend and then I spent the winter break in Carmel, San Fran and Napa and headed down the coast on new years eve to spend with my Tawney in LA.

My year wasn't painted exactly the way I had wanted it to be painted. There were more dark shades of blue than I had expected, but I guess that's the beauty of life and this lifelong canvas we are painting. It's up to us to bring more light to the canvas.

And so... meditation. Focus on light. Breathe it in... Send it out.