Winding back down south now...

Crescent Head, NSW, Australia

The "stepbrother" movie credits rolled and the long weekend was officially over.

Tawney and I got up off the cozy mattresses and couches, hugged all our new friends goodnight and came back down to the garage. The garage sofa-bed we have commandeered for two consecutive nights is surrounded by (from my immediate line of sight) 26 surf boards, 10 wet suits, 4 skateboards, spear diving equipment, and a fridge most likely full of beer.


The 5 guys who live in this house all have hearts of gold and have been out-of-this-world amazing to both of us over the last twenty four hours. They mostly all teach surfing nearby in Crescent Head, and clearly have the open party house in the neighborhood. The night before we had met everyone at the pub and come back to guitars, drum kits, wired in microphones, endless alcohol, and a costume box…
A few of the guys came through the garage on their way to work at 5:30 and 6 a.m. The rest slept in until 7 or 8 and were already up making coffee when we woke up with the house already fully cleaned.
seriously - we LOVE these guys.

Tawney noted how in a house of 5 twenty-something guys, there was only ONE computer in the house without internet access, a TV that none of them could really figure out when we wanted to have a movie night... and it was noticeable to both os us how none of them were on their phones at any point during the weekend. I guess we are so used to LA kids who just LIVE on their iphone and facebook message one another when they are sitting in the same room.
I feel like technology is so toxic, but we are all addicted to it...
Somehow, the guys out here in Crescent Head didn't seem to be addicted. They wanted to strum a guitar and go on a surf adventure or go for a walk and talk to one another... and us. It was such a breath of fresh air... literally.

They also moved incredibly FAST. We dubbed ourselves "team get shit done" - when i kept freaking out over the speed in which we would have an idea and BAM get in a car and go do it.
I am so used to talking about an idea for a really long time and then eventually talking myself out of it and then it fizzles and is over.

Tawney and I made plans to head to Sydney in the morning and it dawned on me that team get shit done's road trip was coming to a close, just like the evening was. Tawney got it done - and booked her flight to Bali... She leaves on Thursday…


"I'm heading back down south now…"

The Kings of Leon played through my head as I crawled into the garage sofa bed tonight. We blasted Kings of Leon all day as we sat on the 6th hole tee off, on zebra and orange sarongs overlooking the incredible headlands of Crescent Head - hometown of Birdie, my island brother from last year.

We hula hooped, drew on our skin with blue markers and moonwalked under the clouds sprinkled across the gloriously blue sky this afternoon.
Birdie had to go down to Port McQuarie to do some boat course, and left us in the garage this morning. His hometown friends and our hosts from the night before gave us the royal treatment… making us coffee, taking us for a meat pie (i passed), and then going on a surfing adventure - driving through jungle forests and down crazy dirt roads past kangaroos and koalas. (I did yoga on the beach while the team surfed)… and then the afternoon turned from awesome to outta hand amazing.


I've been hearing about Crescent Head since this time last year when I met Birdie in Padang and we headed out to Togat Nusa Retreat to live as host and hostess to the island…

When Tawney and I arrived at Birdie's house a few hours north in Nambucca Heads on Sunday morning, after spending Saturday night in Angourie with a friend's yoga Goddess mom… Birdie suggested that we just stay in Nambucca instead of going down to meet his friends.
Tawney and I were making use of his wonderful parent's laundry machines (and subsequently dying all our clothes pink due to a shitty towel we bought with Paul in Byron a few days before… it had gotten soaked when we were dancing in the rain and stunk our car up gnarly… then it dyed everything pink. FAIL on that towel.)
Aaaanyway - after a pub lunch in a neighboring hippie town to Nambucca Heads and some catch up time with my island brother- we decided on a whim that we should indeed charge it to Crescent Head, so we threw our wet pink laundry in the shaggin wagon and followed Birdie to his hometown, rocking out to a random dub step CD that came with the Shaggin Wagon.

This car has been amazing. I can't imagine how people could live without an awesome car full of everything you need when you are gypsy adventuring and playing it by ear.


www.travellers-autobarn.com.au/



All the highways here are like little two lane roads with signs that point off to each various beach town.

So far we have gone
Brisbane - 2 nights
Brunswick Head - 1 night
Brisbane - 1 night
Lennox Head - 2 nights
Byron - 1 night
Gold Coast - 1 night
Byron - 1 night
Angourie - 1 night
Crescent Head - 2 nights

… and we will head back to Sydney tomorrow.

The second night we spent in Byron - after our dinner party in the Gold Coast and following day trip through Nimbin and Mount Warning - was one of my favorite nights so far.

Neither Paul or Tawney had ever stayed in a hostel and we did it right at the Arts Factory.
Our night was spent playing cards and drinking, pulling our mattresses off the bunks in our 10 person dorm and making a giant floor bed to watch anchorman… and then sitting in our fold out lawn chairs that came in the car - looking up at the incredible starry night that hung above Byron.
Soul brother Paul was there to talk metaphysics, laugh, make up weird accents and drink wine from the bottle.

We dropped him at the airport and carried on through the gorgeous landscape and into Angourie which was the teeny tiniest town of all… there was one restaurant that we stopped in to charge our phone, grab a drink and get our bearings.
The owner of the restaurant asked what we were doing there and Tawney explained that her friend Ry's mom lived here and we were hoping to get in touch with her to go have a cup of tea on our way through.
Of course the man knew who we were talking about and instructed us to her house which was just up the road.

We walked in to an upstairs yoga hall just after the sun had set but the sky was still a million shades of lavender reflected in the river framed by palm trees - japanese fishing buoys hung on the walls and transported back to Togat Nusa. (and made me extra excited to realize that i would be seeing Birdie the next morning)… Straps hung off the Iyengar yoga wall and swiss balls were stacked next to each other on a shelf.

"THIS IS MY DREAM!" is all i could say over and over again as we came down the stairs by the massage room filled with oils and magical stones that Robin (Ry's mom) uses for hot stone massages. She fed us turmeric veggie soup and we talked for hours and then insisted that we stay in her guest room for the night and take a long hot shower. (something neither of us had done in days)… Robin has recently been poisoned by mercury, just like yogitoes founder Susan had been a few years ago, upon getting amalgam filling removed improperly.

This quest for health, and riding ourselves of toxicity can often backfire it seems and just causes as much harmful repercussions as the original toxicity it seems.
I wish her all the best healing love while she recovers in the weeks to come.

Being at her house made me realize how much my own yoga practice has seriously fallen by the wayside… My path has played second fiddle to my insatiable appetite for travel and adventure - and i know that i am coming back.
I have this feelings that keeps washing over me that it's almost time to hit the brakes… plant some roots and make a home for myself - a nest where i can have a routine and a regular income and regain my practice.

Today's beach session was beautiful and exactly what i needed to reinvigorate myself.
The sun was still hiding behind a marine layer but it was still warm enough for me to break a sweat quickly.
i practiced methodically and followed my breath and forgave myself for loosing strength over the last year.

It's all part of the process.
What process?
What are we even working towards?

Wholeness?
Oneness?
Health?
Happiness?

I've asked myself recently what is this whole gypsy adventure about?

I'm not totally sure how to answer that question yet… but i think i am learning how to be the best me that i can be with every step i take.

Tawney is the most amazing travel companion and adventure sister to have with me…. always… but especially on this road trip journey.

I am feeling very blessed and although a little bummed out that the Australia part of our adventure is wrapping up - and tomorrow we will head back down south... (cue kings of leon again)...

But she will be meeting me in Indonesia JUST in time for my birthday in April - bring on the TELOS ISLANDS!
www.surfing-village.com

A day in the OZsome life

Tallebudgera - Currumbin Valley, QLD

Woke up in a house that is precariously perched on the side of a mountain overlooking the ridge that delineates Queensland from New South Wales.

We'd arrived at night and not yet seen the panoramic view from Matthew's living room until i got up at dawn and stumbled down his living room's wooden stairs, past the old wood burning chimney with the flu that stretches all the way up to the vaulted ceiling adjacent to the wall of windows looking out towards Collangatta.

Tawney and I had picked up our friend Paul at Coollangatta Airport yesterday evening before making our way through the dark, stormy night to meet this new friend we had met outside a Bon Iver show in Brisbane last week. His name was Matthew and he was decidedly one of the most beautiful people either Tawney or I had met… ever.
We exchanged numbers that night and he immediately invited us over to the home of he and his beautiful girlfriend Lani in the Gold Coast to "break bread"…

One week later, we were pulling up to his magical mountain home with a bag of grapes, 2 bottles of wine, some chocolate, and a soul brother from Sydney.

In all honesty, we had NO idea what was about to happen and joked in the car of potential serial killer weirdness and compromising scenarios… but in our hearts we knew it would be the lovely night that it was.
I really think that you CAN know someone straight off the bat when you recognize a reflection connection or like-energy in someone… you just KNOW that they too walk your path and you can tell that getting to know oone another can only further you down that path.


Matthew and I found each other in the living room at day break. I was sitting on a big green swiss ball taking in the view, considering sitting in meditation but finding myself in the same thoughts i used to have each day in the Mentawais last year…. I would look out through the bending palm trees at the perfect crashing waves and completely set aside the idea of closing my eyes.
How could i close my eyes when there was all this beauty to look at?
It was a moving meditation just to walk around the island right?
maybe.

But in all honesty, nothing is the same as closing your eyes and looking inward…
As my favorite Carl Jung quote says:

"He who looks outside, dreams… He who looks inside, awakens."

So i woke up this morning and did a sit beside Matthew. With eyes closed, we awoken. For a solid 40 minutes I sat unmoving just observing… allowing thoughts to crop up and then dropping them, releasing them and returning to the breath, and eventually to the emptiness.
It's constant… and eternal.

Finding that you have strayed away from your intention and then pulling the reigns and finding yourself back on track… Especially for someone like me who's pendulum swings wide.
When i fall off course, I end up in another time zone.

And here i am… in another time zone… again.
It's a good thing i don't really understand time and just let it be what it thinks it is… because otherwise I would probably loose my mind trying to figure out what was happening half the time as a flit and flounce around the planet….

I pull myself back to the now.
The only time frame i can truly understand or fathom… and i am reminded of India.

I left India just over 3 months ago. It feels like yesterday and it feels like a million years ago, but I talk about it all the time and with the blink of an eye, I can be transported back to the smells and sounds and daily lessons i found on my journey there.

I miss my daily guitar lessons from Baba Aaron… and i miss pressing my sweaty, dirty, palms together and bowing my head a hundred times a day when i meet someone who blows my mind and completely flips me upside down…

But then again, there are lessons everywhere - every place i travel to… not least of which here in Australia.

btw - www.travellers-autobarn.com.au/
-----

Half a day later and i am curled up with my laptop in a net hammock next to a late-afternoon lake that is surrounded by yurts, huts, and half naked hippies… These dreadlocked travelers hailing from all over the planet are soaking in today's sun - playing volleyball beside a painted magic bus and gathered around a picnic table playing Bon Iver's 'Skinny Love'… Wild turkeys and strange lizards that run on two legs cruise around as laxly as the young, international gypsies…. This is The Arts Factory in Byron.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised to be hearing Bon Iver everywhere since Tawney and I spent the end of their tour with them last week… Because everything happens in this synchronistic way… and because they RULE… It makes me SO stoked to hear their music getting love all over the world… So amazing.

But here I am by myself smiling over my shoulder at the German accents I can hear through the words "staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer."

Those lyrics always remind me of a year and a half ago when I was still living in Venice Beach. Kings Of Leon "Pickup Truck" was my anthem at that time… a time when i had a series of root canal surgeries and dramas with my teeth. I would always snap a picture on my blackberry when my mouth was bloody and send it to my roommate Josh because the lyrics in Pickup Truck sing "A piece of a bloody tooth… Just so you know I was thinking of you." it was my photo message to tell him i was thinking of him - even in the midst of a shitty dental procedure. He always makes me happy - even in the shittiest of shit.

Whats with all my favorite songs singing about bloody teeth? (My front teeth are veneers)

Wow… I digress like a pro.

Gotta get back to my story about today…
I'm gonna go back to Matthew's house this morning which feels like an eon ago.

From there, Tawney, Pail and I started driving in our Travellers Auto Barn shaggin wagon - (we went the super long way) towards Byron… And without even trying, we found our way to Mount Warning… a place we had heard about multiple times since arriving here.
Apparently its the first place that the rising sun hits in Australia - which i would guess means its the most Easterly point of the country.
And apparently women are not supposed to climb to the top - since it is traditionally a meeting point for men to gather and hike. The women gather in Byron.

Ironically (or not) Tawney and I found a mutual friend named Allison - our friend Mike Schiebel has been trying to hook us up with her since we told him we were starting this adventure… As we were sitting at a cafe hearing her story (the daughter of a national geographic photographer and a yoga instructor) my memory got jogged to an email I had gotten a few months back from my childhood friend Jessie Beemer.
Jessie had tried to introduce me to this same woman, Allison back then - and as luck would have it - the women found each other… in Byron… the meeting point for women historically in Australia.

I love this.

Last week I met Rebecca and Sunne, two Goddesses I had spent time with in Rhishikesh, India in December. We gathered at the Conscious Cafe - down the street from where I am at this present moment. In mystical, amazing Byron Bay.

It was Sunne who told me about Mount Warning, and warned me not to climb to the top, out of respect to the elders and tradition of the land.


Paul, Tawney and I found our way to the base of Mount Warning this morning - the avatar meets jurassic park rainforest terrain - fog swirled around the tip of this majestic mountain and the river trickled down between twisted vines and gorgeous rocks.

Tawney and I (of course) did our gypsYEAAdventure dance on a bridge in the middle of the magic but we passed on the trek up the hill - because of the whole respect thing and also because it threatened to be 6 hours, steep tracks, lots of steps and dangerous… oh. and it was raining.

We left and carried on to Nimbin - a crazy, rainbow colored explosion of hippies with babies and stoners… It was like Santa Cruz meets Telegraph in Berkeley but set in this gorgeous lush landscape… and it was there at our organic lunch spot that the sun broke through from behind a papaya tree as i ate a green papaya salad.
They call it "paw paw" here and i think its adorable.
Finally SUN! It didn't even peek its head out yesterday...

Leaving Nimbin, Paul relieved me from being perm-driver since Tawney isn't down to drive on the other side of the road… and drove us through the vineyards and mountains - fields and endless green green green landscape and into Byron under blue skies and hot sun.

We checked into the Arts Factory and immediately Tawney and Paul went down to the beach..
I couldn't get myself together and needed some decompression, zani time - so here i am.

Wow. I'm up to speed. That feels good.

It's like my inbox just got empty.

I'm gonna go take a yoga class.

OM love

Z

byron beach daze & rain

March 20, 2012


... Icelandic Music plays through the shaggin wagon.
The warm Australian breeze blows through every door and trunk - all wide open.
Wet bathing suits hang from the hooks in the backseat..
We've given names to each portion of the car… we call them rooms.
The driver's seat is my bedroom, where I sit applying an open aloe plant to my reddish brown skin…
Tawney is walking back and forth between her bedroom (the passenger seat) and the kitchen/game room (our trunk)… She's getting dressed which means she has to go in the backseat (closet/dining room) and get clothes.

She has settled on a one piece purple and turquoise halter jumpsuit all-in-one… actually i have no idea how i can explain this ensemble but its absolutely perfect.

Flipping down her sun visor mirror and pulling out the mascara she says through an open mouth mascara face "We have an important decision to make… Where are we gonna watch the sun set?"

A wild turkey waddles by the door and about 30 birds all start squawking in the palm trees littering the hill where our car is parked.

About 50 yards to our right is the beautiful little not-so-secret beach that we spent the later part of the afternoon on… hula hooping, reading, and talking on the phone to our soul brother in Sydney.

I lay on an orange and blue sarong/scarf/beach blanket that i now have draped across my tanned shoulders as i sit in my bedroom with my feet up on the steering wheel writing this.

Some surfers just returned to their station wagon next to ours and obviously wish they could be friends with us… which of course they can.
We are in the market for vacation boyfriends that we can kiss up at the lighthouse later tonight.
Oh ya - Tazanimal the hopeless romantic is in full force with the plan making it seems.

We decided that tonight we will sleep in the shaggin wagon again, like we did in Brunswick Heads on Friday night, especially if it decides to start raining again. We've slept at Holly's Aunt's house in Lennox Head the last two nights and both nights it poured rain… in fact, we haven't had a fully dry day since we've been in Australia.
Everyone bitches about it, but we don't mind. It makes it kind of magical i think.

We left Lennox around 8:30 and headed to Byron and found a cafe on a hilltop where we met a beautiful guy named Eka and then saw him again down by the long boarding wave beach while he was showering his hair that somehow doesn't absorb water.
He told us that as soon as we see one of those big black storm clouds coming - quickly paddle out and sit out there as the rain hammers down and kicks up ocean.
I loved that he loved that.

The rain is definitely magical.


The sun made its descent between rain clouds and shone incredible rays of majestic light into the ether as our faces were flooded by warm sunlight… Today was a treat... the sun came out to play long enough to burn our skin a little for the first time in a while.

We were really happy.

As night started to fall across the Byron Cape, like a starry cape draping around the shoulders of this incredible headland, we made our way to the Buddha Bar - as recommended by Eka - the beautiful rain loving surfer guy...

It was amidst our $20 bottle of chardonnay and green curry (3rd night in a row for that)... that Tawney's friend Trsitan - a ex-pat Venitian - called us and came to meet up with his adorably amazing Aussie girlfriend, Mia. They live out here nearby - in a suburb called Federal.

Just the day before, Tawney, Holly & I drove from Lennox Head to Mullumbimby to go to a spa that feels like you are in someone's backyard... a veranda with prayer flags and a Buddha head sits between a crawl-in sauna and plunge pool - across from the jacuzzis... We had gotten so blissed out that day. I FINALLY had a chance to sweat and meditate in the sauna and felt wonderful.
Sipping a cup of scalding hot peppermint tea, i sat in the silence and watched the rain come down through the palm trees making the late afternoon that much more peaceful and soothing.


I guess i got a little TOO relaxed and proceeded to pour my cup of scalding tea into my lap - seriously burning my entire crotch.
EPIC FAIL.
But luckily there was a cold plunge pool nearby that i got in immediately and my lovely friends (as soon as they stopped laughing) escorted their waddling, cringing ditz of a friend home and took care of me.

By the next evening, I was walking relatively better... shuffle/staggering from the Buddha Bar to the neighboring "Arts Factory" hostel to see our new friend Stephen rock the open mic night... Back at the Buddha Bar again, we watched some live Reggae music and Mia jumped up on stage to jam out on her flute.

The rain started up again and Tristan and Mia generously invited us to come stay in their guest room in Federal.

So... in our trusty Travellers Auto Barn shaggin wagon, we followed our friends up miles (well... kilometers) of windy road... under canopies of gorgeous trees that our headlights bounced off through the rainy night... and ended up in a beautiful home near Mia's family's macadamia nut plantation.
(my heaven.... i LOVE macadamia nuts and in fact - back in India - I am pretty sure Baba Aaron & My Scottish buddy, Mikey assigned nut names to each of us and i was the macadamia... i cant remember what that meant - but im totally good with it.)

We slept to the sound of the rain and woke up to a beautiful wet earth surrounding this incredible house.

We are so lucky... as always... to be taken care of by beautiful friends and keep waking up in a daze....
Every day so far in Australia I have opened my eyes in a slight daze for the first few minutes.
I know i am safe and around great, loving energy... people that i love... and who love me..
and the rain pitter patters down and i am NOT even mad at it.

It's gorgeous here.

i <3 Australia.

p.s. get into THIS vibe...

This is the solo project of my friend Sean, who plays drums and sings with Bon Iver...
I showed him how to play Blackbird on the guitar after their last show which i LOVE cuz he's clearly a freaking genius... and because my brother Baba Aaron only taught me how to play it in India 4 months ago.

i love life so much.

Spit out the guilt & Dance Yourself Clean

The stage at the Sydney Opera House was bathed in fluorescent purple light that hung off the ethereal set. Mesh burlap material draped down from the ceiling like a canopy of frost you'd stumble upon in some magical winter moment wandering through forest at dawn.

A silent, dream-like trance fell across the sold out audience and each soul in the room seemed momentarily captivated and hypnotized while gently massaged by the blissful sounds being created by the band of men on stage known as Bon Iver.

"soul massage" was used to describe the show. its a perfect explanation.

I drank in this moment… Sitting beside my soul sister, Tawney who had just landed in Australia less then 48 hours before and was now sitting beside me for the second consecutive night watching this unbelievable, emotion-evoking performance we were somehow lucky enough to be experiencing again… This was the beginning of the adventure we were about to embark on.

Our friend, Colin was onstage playing saxophone while we sat 5 rows back, dead center, witnessing the same show we had been blessed enough to witness at exactly the same time the night before, only tonight we were comped on the guest list.

"Should we feel bad that people are dying to come to this show - literally paying 400 dollars on ebay to be here - and we are waltzing in for a second night in a row?"

We whispered to each other between songs juggling the emotion of guilt… swishing it around in our mouths to see how it tasted and then choosing to spit it out.
No.
We created this reality and deserve to experience the amazing world we chose to manifest to life.

At least that's how i justified it in my head right before the dissonant harmonies of "The Wolves" began and i was immediately sucked back into the daze … Slipping into the space between where my body ends and where I begin.

We slept briefly but blissfully at our friend Michael's condo that we have been playing house in, before heading to the airport once again en route to Brisbane, Queensland.

"Oh sure… Let's draw on each other with the blue tribal body paint marker while reading about astrology and drinking our green juice… we're not hippies," Tawney said mocking our gypsydome that we were totally owning in that moment, sitting at a table in the middle of the airport food court…

I had a retractable hula hoop and some sage in my carry-on. She had Shantaram and an extendible fork in hers.
We love ourselves in the best possible way.

It was time to give this adventure a name and a flavor… Brand development time.

Tawney had already chosen our theme song before she even landed in Sydney and it couldn't be better. LCD Soundsystem "Dance Yrself Clean."



Welcome to "the gypsYEEAdventure" (to be said in a rough Aussie accent accentuating the "yeea" that must be said with a scrunched up nose)

We made up our signature gypsYEEAdventure dance waiting for our flight and proceeded to dance all over the terminal, making some people scowl and frown disapprovingly - but mostly made people laugh… with us… at us… either way we were creating laughter and love and it was good.

We filmed ourselves rocking out… dancing ourselves clean all over the domestic terminal at Sydney airport without apology. Up and down the corridors, in the bathroom stalls and moonwalking backwards along the moving walkways. We are in love with life.

A few nights before, my friend back home in America texted me in response to something i was telling her - talking about creating your own reality and choosing to do things that make you happy on a daily basis… She retorted with some hostility, "Ya… easy for you to say… you're whole life is one big vaycay."

I didn't know how to respond at first. I felt hurt and shattered that she was "booing my yay" as the 5 year old she nanny's for would say… I felt a pang of guilt, like maybe i shouldn't be living my life this way since she and millions of other people couldn't…

But then i stopped and reframed the whole conversation in my head.

YES. My life is one big vaycay because i chose to make it this way. I have manifested and created this existence. It's not by accident that beautiful opportunities come to me. I work hard to create joy and beauty around me and chose to live a life that i would be okay with leaving altogether if i died tomorrow because i have no regrets or unfulfilled desires… Nothing lurking from a deep, unsatisfied, desirous place.

Again i chose to spit out the guilt I was swirling inside my mouth like a sip of mezcal.

We arrived in Brisbane and made our way over to Traveller's Auto Barn - the funky, amazing car & van rental place that would be supplying the vehicle for the gypsYEEAdventure road trip down the East Coast of Australia.



We were taken through the list of do's and don'ts for the rental and before we knew it we were sitting in the front seat of our shaggin wagon. Our trunk was full of camping gear… but i mean… everything you need to survive forever… a gas stove, tent, chairs and table, plates, knives, a cooler… the whole shabang! All part of the incredible package.
I can't imagine anyone NOT doing this when traveling through Australia.
It's like every ingredient for fun and adventure handed over in the form of a car key.

We blasted our LCD stereosystem anthem and danced in our seats as we waited in the TAB parking lot for the final okay to hit the road…

While sitting in the place that will no doubt house our butts comfortably and safely over the next two weeks as we make our way back down to Sydney - we got a text inviting us to go meet friends at a fancy Italian restaurant. We quickly pulled down the mirrors and fixed our makeup so as not to look like weary gypsies…
We glanced out at the backpackers and campers lining up to be placed into their wagons and vans from TAB (Travellers Auto Barn)….
One last time, we looked at one another with a face that questioned whether or not we should feel guilty that we were being hooking up with this shaggin wagon and living this really amazing reality - about to go hang out with incredibly talented friends who were opening their posh hotel rooms up for us to sleep over, take saunas, and be fed gorgeous food and wine?

Instead of guilt we turned to gratitude…

SUCH a better vibe.

gypsYEEAHdventures off to a great start… gratitude in the heart and a theme song too.

x

a hiSTORY of me

.
.
.


"What's your story?"

I say that often to people mindlessly without actually thinking deeply into what it is that i am asking…
I guess essentially, I am asking to know the story that people are writing about themselves, although it might be totally different from the story their family members and friends would narrate… I am interested to know what people's personal narrations are saying.

For instance

right now according to zani's narrator - she is on a shuttle to the airport writing. at this moment in time she would define herself as a gypsy mermaid writer. (that's who i am inside my head today.)

This morning, i walked into the coffee shop across from Fairfield station (the Northern suburbs of Melbourne, Victoria). Fadad the Labanese owner laughed and said "oh! here comes trouble" as i stepped off the street and into his shop that i have come to love this week.
His beautiful Aussie girlfriend Ria smiled and said "strong long black?" with her hands already making my coffee.
In 5 days I already am a regular with a usual order? That's amaaaazing.

The three of us sat down and nibbled on trail mix, sipping our coffees and chit chatting. (they already have plans to marry me off to a Greek friend of theirs.)

I started talking about my parents and felt myself slip into the broken record-like story I tell about where I am from and "who i am"
I stopped and committed to telling the story i was about to tell a little differently then i usually do.
(i practiced this with everyone i met in India… making sure to switch up my intro with every different person so that i didn't become a slave to my own narration about where i had just come from.)

It's a little different when someone wants to know your life story… When they sit across from you with open ears, eyes and heart and genuinely are looking to understand me.

my story usually goes like this:

mom was a modern dancer. dad was an opera singer. she was choreographing an opera. carmel love story ensued. three daughter of which i am the middle (and a typical trouble-making middle child at that)… we moved to germany and switzerland while dad sang… ended up back in california when i was about 5 and lived up and down the coast of california. my parents love to move… gypsy blood I'm sure of it. at 9, our house burned down in the laguna beach forest fires, we rebuilt and moved to pacific palisades, where i would stay until i got married at 19 to a British rockstar… moved to London when i was 21 and then back to Venice Beach a few years later at which point i became a yoga instructor and art director for a yoga products company… went to burning man at 25 and was reborn. split with hubby shortly after. got lost in a venice vortex of music and love for a year until i broke free and found myself at a private island surf retreat in indonesia… went to india for 3 months and got even weirder. now i'm in australia on my way back to indonesia for another season of playing mermaid yoga hostesseuse for surfers. i have no clue what direction my life will take next, but something is calling me to live in australia.
I plan to have a plan by new years eve.

i just wrote that train of thought without much thought just to see what would come out.
I know that any one of my loved ones would tell you a vastly different story.
We are all such energetic chameleons and versatile interesting beings with amazing stories.
It just depends on what part you feel like attaching to and telling at that particular moment.

For instance… this is my story too:

grew up in LA. danced pre-professionally from age 2-14 when i had an accident and couldn't dance anymore. My life spiraled out of control and i became a "bad girl" doing copious amounts of drugs, breaking any rule that i could find to break… dancing with a DJ company at 16, getting tattoos and contraband with fake IDs, arrested and expelled from high school twice, i finished school in night school while getting my early childhood education credential from UCLA. Taught preschool at a jewish temple for 4 years and loved every moment of it. Travelled extensively in Europe, living in England for almost 2 years and spending 6 christmas seasons there. Travelled to Asia for the first time in 2010 and spent 2011 between Indonesia, Thailand and India. 2012 headed to Australia, running up a credit card but trusting that the universe would provide as long as i was being virtuous and spreading love and light around the world as i traveled. currently writing 3 books, all loosely based on my life.

…


I find myself wondering what story my coffee shop friend would tell his Greek friend when setting me up with him.
"I bet you need an older man… in his late 30s or 40s… someone who knows what to do with you." he said to me this morning.
"you are such a force of amazing energy… i bet younger guys don't know what to do with you and then you end up being their mother. is that right?"

my glazed over eyes and mind clearly suddenly flooded with memories probably tipped him off that he was certainly on the nose with that.

the word "history" has a story in it.

i am reminded that every step on this path is playing a part in our universal story, whether its a moment we we'll recount and retell with fondness or fear… or maybe just forget…
It is serving a purpose - like a preposition in a sentence that would make no sense without it.
Maybe its not the most impressive, long and fancy sounding word… but it is crucial.

"Your journey has molded you for the greater good. It was exactly what it needed to be. Don't think you've lost time. It took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to the now. and now is right on time."

... the end?

This could be the end...



"Are you ready to die?" the Muslim man on the plane asked me last year as we were about to depart from the Mentawai islands and jump the channel to West Sumatra.

I'm still not sure if it was asked as a scare tactic or a genuine inquiry but it became a conversation I will never forget... Half in broken Indonesian, half in broken English...
He explained to me how a Muslim is always ready to die. There is no unfinished business... No sins to repent or wrongs to make right.
Each day has been lived as virtuously as possible and therefore, they are ready to face the afterlife.

This thought doesn't scare me. It intrigues me the way "living each day like it's your last" does.

What if this was it?
What would you do today?

Some people, in fact... Many people believe the world as we know it will end on December 21, 2012.

Not to startle you doomsdayers... But... Uh... That's like really really soon.

If you really think the world is gonna end, why aren't you living boldly and bravely? Traveling to the places you dream of traveling to? Putting your heart on your sleeve and going for it?

Many of us live in this debilitating fear of debt and become prisoner to the Benjamin's... But there are no pockets in your coffin and no debt collectors in the afterlife.
So what's the big deal?
It doesn't mean anything anyways as far as I can tell.

Maybe this is just the paradigm by which I choose to view the world.. But does anything really matter besides happiness?

My motto: if you're not enjoying it then why are you doing it?

I don't believe in suffering now to be happy later because there is absolutely NO guarantee that there is gonna be a "later"...

The Mowgli's new song speaks to this in a song that pulls just a little too hard on my heart strings for me to listen to - but the message is real.
"cherish this cuz when it doesn't last you'll wish you had"




It's all just speaking to "Carpe Diem"...

Seize
The
Day

... I know it can be scary! You're not alone.
It reminds me of outer space.
People look at how huge this universe is and get overwhelmed with claustrophobic "I'm so tiny and insignificant" fear...



Me? I feel huge... Vast... Infinite...
Because I am a card carrying member of "the all" - I just recognize the whole that I'm a part of and feel embraced and held by the dark, the light, the fear and the love. And find a way to laugh at every single turn.

It's the same empowerment from surrendering to the idea that I am just a puppet in this impermanence game... All the more reason for me to live for today and be ready to die cuz I know I did everything... Went everywhere... And said everything.

The end?
Bring it on.

I'm reaching for stars, yo.



"The earth turned to bring us closer. It spun on itself and within us and finally joined us together in this dream"

Affected en route to Avalon

Sydney… heading down to Melbourne for the week.


6:00 am
Standing in line for airport security and totally zoned out, lost in chain of thoughts… I'm somehow at Sydney Airport again.
I allegedly landed here 72 hours ago, but there's no way that's correct.
Reality must be mistaken, because I'm sure I've been here for most of my life… or at least a couple of weeks in THIS lifetime.
Time trips me out when it does stuff like this.

My broski and I headed out from his mum's this morning so early it was still dark, blowing a kiss to the house that has welcomed me in the most incredible way and of course the hose-happy German Shepherd who i have come to love over these months… er… 2 days. (whatever)

We wove through the suburban Sydney streets, submerged in one of our par-for-the-course metaphysical conversations we had fallen into almost immediately.
This morning's theme was the interconnectedness of us humans on earth, as dependent arisings.
The recognition that there could be no "ME" without a "NOT me"… therefore, there could be no "ME" without "YOU"… The belief that there is an independent me and an independent, objective world out there is ignorance.

The traffic through the M5 tunnel clogged up and Paul told me about a science documentary he saw one time about why the "imaginary accident" happens and traffic clogs up.
It had explained how essentially collective delayed reaction times compound one another and cause this weird backup that doesn't need to exist.
By time the guy way up there accelerates, the next guy has to react and start his acceleration, and so forth and so on…
But if one person is asleep or not aware and conscious, it screws the whole pooch… and of course MOST of us are walking around asleep, so case in point - traffic jam o'clock.

As humans in this duality consciousness, we are not only physically dependent upon one another for our conceptual existence, but our energy and attitudes actually really do affect one another in huge ways.

Not unlink the Butterfly Effect where everything we do has a global effect… down to the flutter of a butterfly wing, which in theory could cause a tornado on the other side of earth.

I have found myself in Australia, so far, incredibly optimistic, positive and joyful… Externally, it's beautiful and awesome and I feel super lucky to be here… but also I'm feeling very aware of the energy I am putting out into the world and conscious that i want to put out is energy that betters humanity… Compounds to create happiness and effectively reduce suffering for all of us.

There are of course swamis in the mountains who take this idea to an extreme level… there are monks and nuns who wear nets across their mouths so as not to accidentally inhale a bug and cause death in any way… There are fruitarians who only eat fruit or nuts that have fallen from the tree on their own accord.

I'm not going too crazy but definitely all about unity right now and trying to be very awake and aware… conscious actions/reactions and the action/reaction they create.

Australia seems to be the perfect place for me to be exploring this concept as A. I have my soul-brother buddy and partner is geekdom to bounce stuff off and filter my ideas through… and B. Australians (at least from what i have seen so far) are very laid back and open hearted.
Of all the places I have visited and lived in my eclectic, crazy life, I can see within 72 hours (allegedly) that Australia holds no masks up and has an authenticity and accepting, nonjudgmental energy that i really really get down with.

Maybe this is the reason that I feel so strongly like I have been here before and for much much longer then the 3 days I have spent in this country.
I mentioned that this morning, how last night it dawned on me, sitting on the couch in the lounge chit chatting for 4 hours, how totally comfortable I am here.
(Not that I am UNcomfortable all too often in this life)… But i just feel totally at home and comfortable to be myself in all my odd, creative, expressive, often intense energy.

"it's all happening." I said smiling to Paul as I got out of the car this morning and headed into terminal 2 to catch this flight to Melbourne.
"what is?" he asked
"everything!" i replied.
it made total sense to us and is totally true.

I checked myself in at the little kiosk and found my way to a slow moving security line, stuck in front of the zig zagging walkway i had just come down.
A typical airport snaking line cue- the kind that are taped off by detachable seatbelt-like bands.

I watched this seemingly endless stream of people snaking through and towards me as the early morning light coming through the far window flickered through between crossing bodies.
The same people kept crossing the same people… first on their right, then on their left, then on their right, then on their left…
and i found myself wishing i could come over a loud speaker and ask everyone to high five everyone they walked by.
It would be this awesome choreographed dance of support for one another like 7 year old boys after little league slapping a line of hands saying "good game. good game. good game." to the opposition.

what if we all did that all the time?
encouraged and supported one another instead of putting each other down, pushing, resisting and causing separation?

i rolled the word "effect" around my head and across my lips…
"Effectively, we can affect people… The effect of affection…"
I looked up the dictionary definitions in a literary binge to satiate my seemingly insatiable appetite for ah ha moments this morning.

effect |iˈfekt|
noun
1 a change that is a result or consequence of an action or other cause: the lethal effects of hard drugs | politicians really do have some effect on the lives of ordinary people.
• the state of being or becoming operative.
• the extent to which something succeeds or is operative: wind power can be used to great effect.
• [ with modifier ] Physics a physical phenomenon, typically named after its discoverer: the Doppler effect.
• an impression produced in the mind of a person: gentle music can have a soothing effect.

affect 1 |əˈfekt|
verb [ with obj. ]
have an effect on; make a difference to: the dampness began to affect my health | [ with clause ] : your attitude will affect how successful you are.
• touch the feelings of (someone); move emotionally: the atrocities he witnessed have affected him most deeply.

We really do affect one another.
We are all just swimming around this pool of cause and effect… totally affected by each other's actions and reactions.
Moving one another emotionally.

What if we all just loved each other?

"I've been in love with love and the idea of something binding us together, you know that love is strong enough…
and i've seen time tell tales about that systematic drug. ya. that heart that beats as one.
its collectively unconsciously composed."
-the mowgli's




riiiight??
___________

Australia Day Zero

"Well Zani... Good Day Zero" my friend Paul said somewhat facetiously as we pulled away from his brother Michael's house and back towards the suburbs where i am staying at his mother's house. My hair was tied back in a tight bun to prevent any more bleeding from my head.

It WAS a good day zero.
A very eventful entrance into this country that already in less then 24 hours i love.

So i will rewind to March 1st.
(i find it very bizarre that March 2, 2012 didn't happen for me this year.)
Anyways... The day i left LA was also the birthday of my guardian angel as i travel... Devin Petelski. She died two and a half years ago when a police car going about 80 MPH smashed into her while speeding down venice blvd. with no lights or sirens.
her car spun and hit a tree... she hit her head and died in the hospital with all of her friends and family around.

i talk about her a lot as i travel. the memory of her and the tattoo on my wrist that reminds me how fragile life is and reminds me to live every day as though its my last... hence my world travel love ninja-ing.

The day flew by running around collecting last minute things and piling my bags into Bianca's car with wet hair, a giant hot pink poster board card from jessica with a giant photo collage that took up a ridiculous amount of room but i couldnt leave it behind.... double checking that aside from my photo collage and ten bags of kale chips, I had the essentials...

Passport? check.
Shoes on my feet? check.
(this may seem silly, but i have arrived at many a location without shoes. middle school was the worst)
Nalgene? check
Rose quartz travel amulet from New Mexico? check.

I was ready to do this.
Heading down under with less expectations then i've ever had going anywhere.
My heart was totally open and i was really excited to see what the universe had in store for me.

I boarded my Virgin Australia flight and found my seat... a window seat, pinned in by shrieking babies and their very apologetic looking father.
I took a deep breath and realized that it was all good. I would take a xanax, put in my headphones and just zone out the screaming.

Two guys sitting in the bulkhead flagged down the stewardess and asked if i could sit with them instead of back there in shrieksville, so together me and my two new friends somehow got repositioned up in a better cabin of the plane with killer bulkhead seats alongside the rest of the guy's band. They're called Good Charlotte... I can't say I have ever actually listened to their music, but my new friend was the drummer and kicked ass. We realized that I had actually seen him perform years and years ago at the Greek in Berkeley when he was the drummer for Ben Harper & the Innocent Criminals - a show i went to with my sister Lara who was in college up there.

We drank and talked about music for hours, sharing love for a lot of the same artists and songs...
One of my favorite songs from the album "Diamonds on the inside" is called "She's only happy in the sun"...

the story of your life is hello, goodbye.
she's only happy in the sun.

I've always felt like that song was about me... or at least the kind of person i am.
I found out that my new friend who i was sitting beside had written that song for Ben Harper.
Love it.
He ripped a picture of me sun worshipping off Jessica's collage, sticking it to the wall of the plane while we searched for a splitter so we could listen to the same ipod.

This IS the story of my life... hello, goodbye.
Meeting amazing people, falling into the flow, crossing paths, weaving back out away from them and then trusting and laughing at this game we play and call life.
Thank god for music.
Sometimes it feels like the only sort of sense i can make of this whole thing.

Finally we all fell asleep and woke up an hour outside of Sydney.



I parted ways with my friends, wishing them a good show they were heading down to Adelaide to play that night and walked out of the terminal to find my friend Paul waiting for me!

Off we went into the somewhat stormy, muggy Australian morning.

We arrived at his mom'm house where i had my tenth cup of coffee for the morning and met mum, dad and the sweetest German Shepherd dog. We visited for a bit and then headed off to meet brother Michael, a guy i met snowboarding in the french alps over 5 years ago and somehow have managed to stay in touch with... and sister Anna, who is a yogini and hopefully will be able to help me figure out what i need to figure out down here with regard to the yoga market.

We had brunch and then went to a lookout point that really blew me away.
The bay is absolutely stunning... with all these incredible alcoves and little beaches... boats and tiny islands in the harbor... the gorgeous bridge next to the Opera House (where i am still manifesting a ticket to see Bon Iver on the 11th)...

For a girl who is only happy in the sun, i was pretty happy to be there on this foggy, misty cliffside being pelted by intervals of sideways blowing rain, getting soaked but also soaking up the beauty around me.
We were next to a lighthouse.
What is it about lighthouses that are so romantic? What was it about this whole city?

Back at Michael's house we started drinking wine and dancing around as usual...
I was spinning in circles and blabbering about how much i love the trees here.
I gasped so many times in the car with Paul when we would drive beside or underneath some huge, magical looking mangrove style tree.

I don't actually know what kind of trees these are, but i am in love with them.


Michael walked us over to his particular tree to show me how beautiful it was...
Moments after this photo was taken i lost my balance and fell off.
Moments after THAT happened i decided to try to tarzan swing from one of the vines...
i mean... Tanzani, Queen of the Jungle, right?

maybe not.

i kinda sorta cracked my head open a little bit when the vine decided that i was infact NOT tarzani, and rather some stupid tipsy american who should not have been climbing on her beautiful vines.

point taken.


We drove back to the burbs and i fell asleep to the sounds of animals and birds chirping next to the river and woke up at 3:30am.
Gooooo jetlag... and meditated to the sounds of nature until the sun crept up and over the hill illuminating the river and this STUNNINGLY gorgeous day.